Some people think that success is the best measure for intelligence, while others think that intelligence can be measured in other ways. What is your opinion?

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A number of

individuals

Use synonyms

believe that the IQ of a person can be measured by how successful that person is.

This

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essay is going to prove that

this

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might not be entirely true. First of all, there are disabled people

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

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are extremely intelligent,

however

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, because of their disability they can not become

successful

Rephrase

as successful

show examples

as they might

deserve

Verb problem

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. Disabled people tend to be seen as weak and without a bright future ahead of them,

therefore

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not a lot of

individuals

Use synonyms

believe in them,

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however

Add the comma(s)

however,

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this

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does not mean that they are not capable of achieving greatness.

For

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instance

Add a comma

instance,

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Stephen Hawking is one of the most famous

scientist

Change to a plural noun

scientists

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in a wheelchair,

therefore

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it is possible even for

this

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category of

individuals

Use synonyms

to become successful. Second of all, there are those who come from rich families and because their parents have a lot of money they do not need to be smart or work hard for their future is already secured. I think that

this

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kind of people can buy their achievements without a hustle.

This

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can be explained by the fact that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

nowadays a lot of things can be bought with money. In conclusion, success is not always an accurate measure of intelligence. Many intelligent

individuals

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such

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as those with disabilities, may face obstacles that prevent them from reaching their full potential,

while

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others who are born into wealth may achieve success without relying on their intellect or hard work.

Therefore

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, it is important to recognize that intelligence and success do not always go hand in hand, and true intellect should be valued beyond material achievements.

acaitazSun Oct 29 2023

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task achievement

Consider redefining your thesis statement to be clearer and more direct. A stronger statement would explicitly outline your main points to be discussed in the essay.

coherence

Improve transitions between the paragraphs to enhance the flow of the essay. For instance, using linking phrases like 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' can help articulate the connection between ideas more effectively.

task achievement

Try to provide further elaboration and specific examples in your arguments. For example, when mentioning Stephen Hawking, you could include more context about his achievements to strengthen your point.

task achievement

You successfully address both sides of the argument, which shows a well-rounded understanding of the topic.

coherence

Your conclusion succinctly summarizes your stance and reinforces the main idea of the essay, which is commendable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

measure
intelligence
success
critical thinking
problem-solving
adaptability
emotional intelligence
creativity
practical skills
standardized testing
academic performance
capabilities
potential
privilege
correlate
hard work

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Some people think that success is the best measure for intelligence, while others think that intelligence can be measured in other ways. What is your opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that children should spend all of their free tim with their families , Others believe that this is unnecessary or even negative . Discuss arguments on both sides , and say which side you perosnally support .

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changes because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree of disagree with this opinion?