Some people think that success is the best measure for intelligence, while others think that intelligence can be measured in other ways. What is your opinion?

Some people believe that success is the main way to measure
intelligence
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
others think that
intelligence
Use synonyms
can be shown in other
parts
Check wording
ways
show examples
. In my opinion, the first reason for success is your intellectual opportunities, but
Linking Words
secondly
Add a comma
secondly,
show examples
it is family finances.
This
Linking Words
is because a person who really has a wish to study without finance, despite his abilities, will achieve great heights through perseverance, and a person who was born in a high-class family, like in a family of a popular person or a politician, always has a road to success.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
intelligence
Use synonyms
includes many abilities, not only connected with career or money. Some people are very good at biology or math; since childhood, they
put
Wrong verb form
have had
show examples
one dream and
devote
Wrong verb form
devoted
show examples
their whole life to it. They study all day and all night for free education, and in the
end
Add a comma
end,
show examples
achieve their dream. Money is not useful in all situations. It alone cannot buy knowledge and perseverance.
For instance
Linking Words
, Elon Musk was not from a rich family, and his parents were not popular. He obtained everything on his own, despite having autism. Nowadays, he is one of the smartest people in the world.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are many situations when a child is from a popular family, and after a
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
while,
show examples
becomes famous without any effort. At least, these children do not always become like their parents,
that is
Linking Words
, deputies, politicians, or actors. Having already gained popularity, they move into other areas.
However
Linking Words
, many follow in their parents’ footsteps, but the public rarely accepts them when comparing them to their parents.
For example
Linking Words
, Russian actress Julia Peresild — her daughter
also
Linking Words
went into acting, but the public does not accept her,
while
Linking Words
Donald Trump’s son is popular and adored by the public without any effort. In my view, I hope everyone achieves what they want, regardless of their financial situation. Everyone deserves more.
Intelligence
Use synonyms
is not measured only by knowledge, but
also
Linking Words
by the luck of the family you were born into.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Make one clear main idea in the intro and keep it in the body
coherence
Link ideas with simple words like and, but, and also to show flow
development
Explain each point more with small detail and show how it helps your view
content
Check facts or avoid risky claims; simple idea is enough
grammar
Use small, correct sentences to fix grammar
task response
The essay shows a clear view and a try to discuss it
coherence
Some ideas are good and some examples are used
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • measure
  • intelligence
  • success
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • adaptability
  • emotional intelligence
  • creativity
  • practical skills
  • standardized testing
  • academic performance
  • capabilities
  • potential
  • privilege
  • correlate
  • hard work
What to do next:
Look at other essays: