IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many regions in the world rely on tourism for the revenue it generates. However, some people complain about the problems that come with tourism. What are some of these problems and how can they be solved?

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In the world, there are a lot of rare and eye-catching places. Indeed, these remarkable sites have a high potential to attract a majority of tourists
individuals
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.
While
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 some
people
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 believe that the tourism
industry
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 can make more
money
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, others think that travelling with many tourists can create plenty of trouble for
individuals
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 from different cities. The following paragraphs will illustrate
problems
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 and related solutions.
First,
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the tourism
industry
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 was known as an important issue for earning more
money
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 in many cities. Even though,
this
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industry
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 has a lot of benefits.
Moreover
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, it is right, making
money
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 is a considerable point by visiting many tourists in different countries.
On the contrary
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, it causes many
problems
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 for local
people
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. Transferring unusual cultures, showing awful behaviours, putting rubbish in nature, smoking, and showing off improper clothes are likely some troubles carried out by foreign
individuals
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 in touristy sites.
As a result
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, local
people
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 have watched and learned these awful things;
for example
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, smoking. In fact, these manners can have negative effects on local individual attitudes.
Furthermore
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, the mentioned
problems
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 can be solved by using thoughtful ways. In fact, increasing the control of foreign
people
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’s behaviours and respectable alarms to them can be a proper solution.
In addition
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, tour leaders must teach enough education to tourist
individuals
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 about having correct manners.
For example
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, I travelled to Paris
last
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 year. I recall my leader teaching about having good and worthy behaviours for all group members. In conclusion,
while
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 the tourism
industry
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 is getting rich and making
money
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 source for a majority of countries, it has many
problems
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 for local
people
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 and even nature. In the above, these troubles are discussed and in the following, the suggested solutions are stated.

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task response
Ensure that all parts of the task are addressed and that ideas are fully developed. Provide more examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas more effectively and ensure there is a clear progression throughout the essay. Use linking words to improve the cohesion between sentences and paragraphs.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary range by using more varied and precise vocabulary. Also, try to use less repetitive language.
grammatical range
Work on sentence structure to ensure a more varied and accurate use of grammar. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and the correct use of articles.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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