Some say that parents whose children are breaking the law must be punished in some way. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Law is a set of
rule
and regulations meant to be followed by all under any circumstances. Most Fix the agreement mistake
rules
poeople
believe that for the crimes Correct your spelling
people
commited
by the younsters, their Correct your spelling
committed
parents
are the one
who should be held Correct pronoun usage
ones
resposible
and Correct your spelling
responsible
in particular
liable action must be taken upon
them. I completely disagree with the Change preposition
against
above stated
notion. Counselling the young age Add a hyphen
above-stated
law breakers
through various methods, Correct your spelling
lawbreakers
as well as
teaching the gaurdians
to Correct your spelling
guardians
forsee
the signs of a criminal mind will prove Correct your spelling
foresee
this
.
To begin
with, we are only humans and we make a lot of mistakes. According
the legislature if a Add the preposition
According to
children
commits a Change the noun form
child
crime
he/she will not be sent to a
jail, rather than they are put under strict Remove the article
apply
obeservation
for a Correct your spelling
observation
breif
amount of time. There is no point in holding Correct your spelling
brief
parents
responsible for the deeds of their offspring. Along with
this
, a lot of new government agencies have emerged up
recently whose main aim is to make these young ones realise the dark world that comes tagged along when they open the doors to the Change preposition
apply
crime
world. For instance
, after
the implementation of juvenile rehabilitation Change preposition
apply
programme
which Fix the agreement mistake
programmes
do
not hold the law Change the verb form
does
brakers
captive Correct your spelling
breakers
confined
in a cell but Correct word choice
and confined
along
with the use of advanced technology portray the multiple reactions there one action could Change preposition
apply
genrate
. Correct your spelling
generate
As a
result
there has been a shocking 35 per cent decline in Add a comma
result,
child commited
crimes nationwide.
Correct your spelling
child-committed
Furthermore
, the starting point of any crime
story begins at home, it can be clearly seen that caretakers specifically impose a great influence on their childs
thinking process. Not only Change to a genitive case
child's
they
hold the power to manipulate their mind, but Add a missing verb
do they
also
they can sense the criminal growing inside them even before their kids know. As the world is becoming more and more concious
regarding every aspect, there are specific workshops designed for Correct your spelling
conscious
the
interested Correct article usage
apply
parents
especially
for the ones whose Add the comma(s)
, especially
offsprings
have a Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
breif
history of Correct your spelling
brief
commiting
unlawful acts. Correct your spelling
committing
For example
, according to
a survey, the parents
who attended the child intervention workshops were able to recognize the early signs of criminal behaviour which eventually helped them in contolling
them at an early stage.
Correct your spelling
controlling
To sum up
, with
the advent of technology and provocating information available on the internet will continue to Change preposition
apply
brain wash
plenty of young minds into Correct your spelling
brainwash
commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
crime
. Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
Gaurdians
ought to actively intervene when they feel is Correct your spelling
Guardians
neccessary
. The government of course should impose strict rules for attending rehabilitation workshops for those who are out of Correct your spelling
necessary
theirs
Correct the word
their
parents
reach or have already Change noun form
parents'
parent's
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
the
Correct article usage
apply
henious
acts.Correct your spelling
heinous
Submitted by mrigankingley2099 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt and presents a clear viewpoint. However, consider providing stronger support for your main points.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a strong introduction and conclusion that clearly outline your position. Well done!
lexical resource
You have used a variety of vocabulary throughout your essay, but there is room for improvement in terms of using more academic vocabulary.
grammatical range
Your essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures. Just be mindful of minor errors in sentence structure and verb tense consistency.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
