Some say that parents whose children are breaking the law must be punished in some way. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#say #parents #children #law

Law is a set of

rule

Fix the agreement mistake

rules

show examples

and regulations meant to be followed by all under any circumstances. Most

poeople

Correct your spelling

people

believe that for the crimes

commited

Correct your spelling

committed

by the younsters, their

parents

are the

one

Correct pronoun usage

ones

show examples

who should be held

resposible

Correct your spelling

responsible

and

in particular

liable action must be taken

upon

Change preposition

against

show examples

them. I completely disagree with the

above stated

Add a hyphen

above-stated

show examples

notion. Counselling the young age

law breakers

Correct your spelling

lawbreakers

show examples

through various methods,

as well as

teaching the

gaurdians

Correct your spelling

guardians

forsee

Correct your spelling

foresee

show examples

the signs of a criminal mind will prove

this

To begin

with, we are only humans and we make a lot of mistakes.

According

Add the preposition

According to

show examples

the legislature if a

children

Change the noun form

child

show examples

commits a

crime

he/she will not be sent to

Remove the article

apply

show examples

jail, rather than they are put under strict

obeservation

Correct your spelling

observation

for a

breif

Correct your spelling

brief

amount of time. There is no point in holding

parents

responsible for the deeds of their offspring.

Along with

this

, a lot of new government agencies have emerged

Change preposition

apply

show examples

recently whose main aim is to make these young ones realise the dark world that comes tagged along when they open the doors to the

crime

world.

For instance

after

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the implementation of juvenile rehabilitation

programme

Fix the agreement mistake

programmes

show examples

which

Change the verb form

does

show examples

not hold the law

brakers

Correct your spelling

breakers

captive

confined

Correct word choice

and confined

show examples

in a cell but

along

Change preposition

apply

show examples

with the use of advanced technology portray the multiple reactions there one action could

genrate

Correct your spelling

generate

As a

result

Add a comma

result,

show examples

there has been a shocking 35 per cent decline in

child commited

Correct your spelling

child-committed

crimes nationwide.

Furthermore

, the starting point of any

crime

story begins at home, it can be clearly seen that caretakers specifically impose a great influence on their

childs

Change to a genitive case

child's

show examples

thinking process. Not only

they

Add a missing verb

do they

show examples

hold the power to manipulate their mind, but

also

they can sense the criminal growing inside them even before their kids know. As the world is becoming more and more

concious

Correct your spelling

conscious

regarding every aspect, there are specific workshops designed for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

interested

parents

especially

Add the comma(s)

, especially

show examples

for the ones whose

offsprings

Fix the agreement mistake

offspring

show examples

have a

breif

Correct your spelling

brief

history of

commiting

Correct your spelling

committing

unlawful acts.

For example

according to

a survey, the

parents

who attended the child intervention workshops were able to recognize the early signs of criminal behaviour which eventually helped them in

contolling

Correct your spelling

controlling

them at an early stage.

To sum up

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the advent of technology and provocating information available on the internet will continue to

brain wash

Correct your spelling

brainwash

show examples

plenty of young minds into

commiting

Correct your spelling

committing

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

Gaurdians

Correct your spelling

Guardians

ought to actively intervene when they feel is

neccessary

Correct your spelling

necessary

. The government of course should impose strict rules for attending rehabilitation workshops for those who are out of

theirs

Correct the word

their

show examples

parents

Change noun form

parents'

parent's

show examples

reach or have already

commited

Correct your spelling

committed

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

henious

Correct your spelling

heinous

acts.

Submitted by mrigankingley2099 on Mon Oct 30 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Your essay effectively addresses the prompt and presents a clear viewpoint. However, consider providing stronger support for your main points.

coherence cohesion

You have provided a strong introduction and conclusion that clearly outline your position. Well done!

lexical resource

You have used a variety of vocabulary throughout your essay, but there is room for improvement in terms of using more academic vocabulary.

grammatical range

Your essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures. Just be mindful of minor errors in sentence structure and verb tense consistency.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
45Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

423 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Some countries are struggling with an increase rate in crime. Many people think that increasing police on the roads is the only way to reduce crime. To what extent do you agree ?
It is quite common these days for people to become famous through appearing in TV programs and the internet. This trend would create certain benefits but there will also be some drawbacks. This essay will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of this method of pursuing fame.
7.5
band
In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this?
Nowadays, most nations have problems with land around the city because they are looking for a place to build apartments. Some say that we do not need to build apartments in the countryside to protect nature. Personally, I do not agree with this idea, and in this essay, I will support my opinion with examples.
<4
band
Some people believe that range of technology currently is increasing gap between rich and poor people. Others think that it is causing opposite . Discuss both views and give your opinion.
According to the statement from the United Nations, especially the UNDP, the gap between the rich and poor widens. From that, I believe that the range of technology gap between the high and low class enlarged. Nowadays, it can be seen that technology varies more, hence the prices of the types of technology increases. For example, the technology named VR cost more than an android phone year 2019, making the tech unreachable for the poor.
4
band
Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, howevr, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There is no doubt that this days to teach a childern how to be members in society. The question is, why parents needs to put children with society. In this essay I am going to taking why it is important to put children with all societys and rather than learn in school how to be good members in society.
6.5
band
In many cities the population is increasing. Some say that the urbanization process denies us knowing our neighbors, and this causes a loss of community sense. What is the main problem with this? What measures can be taken to overcome it?
The population is increasing in many cities in the world which process urbanization. Some people believe that it leads to misunderstanding us knowing our neighbours.I think we should gain insight into the history of people because there was not any kind of urbanization process compared to the last 3 decades and that is why they are worrying.It would easily resolved by actions of the government such as making events that bring feelings of unity.

Some say that parents whose children are breaking the law must be punished in some way. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Word Count

Some countries are struggling with an increase rate in crime. Many people think that increasing police on the roads is the only way to reduce crime. To what extent do you agree ?

In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this?

Some people believe that range of technology currently is increasing gap between rich and poor people. Others think that it is causing opposite . Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, howevr, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many cities the population is increasing. Some say that the urbanization process denies us knowing our neighbors, and this causes a loss of community sense. What is the main problem with this? What measures can be taken to overcome it?