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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The best way for a country to prepare for the future is to invest resources in its young people To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#country #future #resources #people
It is said that the most effective method for a native's future is investing in young
people
. I disagree with
this
 opinion, and in
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will present that opinion.
To begin
 with, investing in young
people
 can bring many benefits to a
country
. It’s great that they have access to modern
knowledge
 and facilities, and they can use their
knowledge
 to develop the
country
 in various fields.
In addition
, their physical strength can be a valuable resource to the
country
 as well.
For example
, Road the Olympia has been investing a lot in young
people
 so that they can access new
knowledge
 and upgrade their
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 to study abroad, and from there, they can bring back their learning to develop the
country
.
Additionally
, they are
also
 highly adaptable and can quickly learn new skills and technologies. Since they have their whole lives ahead of them.
Moreover
, young
people
 can serve as role models for others in their community, which can help to promote positive values and
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
.
On the other hand
,
while
 investing in young
people
 can bring numerous benefits, there can
also
 be some drawbacks. One of the problems in today's society is that young
people
 tend to prioritize leisure activities or salary
instead
 of education and skill building. They only care about immediate goals without planning for the long term. Another problem could be the lack of
experience
 and
knowledge
 that comes with youth. They may need more guidance and support from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
older
people
 who have a wealth of
experience
 and specialized
knowledge
.
Furthermore
, young
people
 may sometimes be viewed as lacking credibility or having limited authority
due to
 their age and perceived lack of
experience
. When looking at an old
person
 and a young
person
,
for instance
,
people
 will feel that the older
person
 looks more professional and experienced, and of
course
Add a comma
course,
show examples
 the young
person
 will be seen as lacking
experience
 and understanding. In conclusion, investing in young
people
 is important for a
country
's growth in the long run. It’s important to strike a balance between investing in their potential
while
also
 being mindful of the potential drawbacks.
Submitted by thuhuyen16992qn on

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task response
Provide a clearer stance in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Ensure consistent logical structure within paragraphs.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary.
grammatical range
Work on sentence structure to vary sentence types.

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