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Writing Samples /
Band 1.5

The picture represents information about making bricks for building industry.

#picture #information #bricks #industry
The picture represents information about making
bricks
 for
building
Correct article usage
the building
show examples
 industry. The process has eight steps, starting with digging into the clay and finishing with delivery machines,which will deliver to customers. It is obvious that
bricks
made
Add a missing verb
are made
show examples
 from clay and designed by humans to withstand
constructing
Replace the word
construction
show examples
. Now, turning to the details the second step shows how clay is seminated to metal gird by roller mechanism. After
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 some sand and water are added to the product , which will be moulded by containers or just cut down for smaller pieces.
Therefore
 they
will be
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 dried for 24-48 hours in
oven
Correct article usage
an oven
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
three cases
that puts
Verb problem
were
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dried
bricks
 to kilns, which considerably moderated them from 200C-980C to
higher
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
870C-1300C ,
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
 the third one
refrigerated
Add a missing verb
was refrigerated
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
for 48-72 hours in
cooling
Add an article
the cooling
a cooling
show examples
 chamber.
Eventually
Add a comma
Eventually,
show examples
 when
bricks
 are officially finished they can be packed and delivered to suppliers.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas about the brick-making process.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout your essay.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more varied and precise language.
grammatical range
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy, including sentence structure, verb tenses, and subject-verb agreement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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