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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Traffic congestion is a growing problem in many of the world’s major cities. Explain some possible reasons for this problem, and suggest some solutions.

#traffic #congestion #world’s #cities
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Nowadays, most of the people from rural
countries
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 and areas move to big
cities
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 looking for better opportunities.
City
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 life in developed
countries
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 is better compared to life in remote destinations
due to
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 various benefits. Tourism developments, Better employment opportunities, higher standards of education, living standards, financial stability and social advantages are some of the reasons for urbanisation. In my aspect, urbanisation is the most common problem for
traffic
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 congestion in many major
cities
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.
Due to
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 financial and political instability in many developing
countries
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, most of the Individuals tend to move to another
country
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 or a
city
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 for their betterment.
For instance
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, the reason why a student from a third-world
country
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 wants to invest in a standard higher education in a developed
country
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 is because quality of the education those
countries
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 provide. They believe it can be value added to their career life rather than doing a local course or a degree in their nation.
Therefore
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, thousands of students move to different
cities
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 around the world and it causes
infastructure-related
Correct your spelling
infrastructure-related
issues
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 mainly
traffic
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 and transport-related problems. Arrivals of a higher number of tourists and overpopulation in the
cities
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 are
also
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 another reason for
traffic
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issues
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.
On the other hand
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, even though urbanisation can benefit the economy of that
city
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 or the
country
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, it is not always practical to face
traffic
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 congestion daily basis.
Traffic
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 congestion is another reason for the reduction in air quality which can lead to air pollution and a huge threat to
bio diversity
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biodiversity
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.
As per
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From
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 my perspective, it is paramount that these
issues
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 are addressed and can be mitigated by introducing a proper
traffic
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 management system. People should be encouraged to travel by public transport
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
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therefore
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 public transport must be developed in a way it's more comfortable and less expensive for passengers to travel around rather than travelling in their personal vehicle.
Furthermore
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, improving facilities
such
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 as parks and rides, and introducing E-bike can control
traffic
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 problems and
as well as
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 reduce environmental impacts. In
conclusion
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conclusion,
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 as in my suggestion, the government or the municipal council should take necessary actions addressing
such
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issues
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 before welcoming more people to their
city
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. The amenities and infrastructure should be developed in a way to reduce these types of
issues
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. A
city
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 should be pleasant and easy to live in and should not feel like living in hell.
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task response
Ensure that all main points are clearly supported with relevant examples and explanations.
coherence and cohesion
Review the logical flow of ideas throughout the essay.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and academic language.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to avoid errors and improve fluency.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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