Nowadays celebrities make more money than politicians. What are the reason for this? Is it positive or negative development?

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Nowadays,
celebrities
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can earn more
money
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

compared to people who
works
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work

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for
government
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the government

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.
This
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is
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has

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happened
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due to
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for

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the
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apply

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several reasons, mainly because of the development of
Internet
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the Internet

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. I believe that
this
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situation will lead to
negative
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a negative

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impact, specifically for the future of our country. There are two main reasons that support
celebrities
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to generate more
money
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
First,
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advanced technology enables
celebrities
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to publish their creative works easily.
For instance
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, people can utilize online streaming
platform
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platforms

The form of the noun platform does not appear to be correct when used before the phrase such as. Consider changing the noun form.

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,
such
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as YouTube and Instagram, to post their new songs.
As a result
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, they can gain a few million dollars through engagement and advertisement features. Another cogent reason is the freedom of expression offered by Internet services. People can post anything to make them viral and gather
public's
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the public's

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attention.
Thus
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, they can take advantage of their fame to make more
money
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. I personally believe that
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

phenomenon is relatively negative for several reasons.
First,
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the enormous salary gap between
celebrities
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and politicians will deter the young generation's motivation to participate in politics.
Therefore
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the government potentially filled
by
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with

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less competent candidates.
This
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condition will cause
to
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apply

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more social problems in our country,
such
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as poverty, unemployment, and more.
Moreover
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,
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

condition will increase the possibility for public servants to commit
to
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apply

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crimes,
such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as
money
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

laundering and corruption.
This
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

possibly
happen
Change the verb form
happens

The plural verb happen does not appear to agree with the singular subject This. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the low salary that comes with huge responsibility, which makes them not motivated
in doing
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to do

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their job. In conclusion, the fact that
celebrities
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are paid more than political leaders now is caused by the variety of income sources available on
Internet
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the Internet

The noun phrase Internet seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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, and supported by the culture of social media nowadays.
However
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I believe that
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is a negative trend which may lead to more incompetent individuals in government.

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Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments and ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a clear logical structure throughout the essay.
Lexical Resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and appropriate words.
Grammatical Range
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure.
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