IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

#millions #dollars #space #research #year #people #money #standards #earth
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Large scale
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Large-scale
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 budgets are used
on
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for
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 researching
space
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anually
Correct your spelling
annually
manually
. I contend that
this
Linking Words
money
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 should be invested in improving citizens' life of all over the
world
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due to
Linking Words
world
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 hunger and
energy
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 crisis, despite those who
belived
Correct your spelling
believed
believe
 that spending on
space
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research
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 would increase the capacity for farming and power utilization. It should be acknowledged that improvements in
economy
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the economy
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has
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have
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 increased people's lives all over the
world
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.
However
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,
world
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 hunger is still one of the biggest
problems
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 that the UN officials have to deal with and finance is a main factor for
this
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. By spending the income for
space
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research
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, food and methods of agriculture would be implanted and
this
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 would alleviate the rates of starvation all around the
world
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 significantly.
Furthermore
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, there would be more economic boost for the
world
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 as hunger is not a dramatic problem any longer.
Moreover
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,
energy
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 insufficient is
also
Linking Words
 a pain in the back for UN authorities.
While
Linking Words
 green
energy
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 is a possible
soloution
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solution
, the main
energy
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 source is still fossil fuels and they are on
a
Correct article usage
the
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 verge of being completely exhausted in the future.
Thus
Linking Words
, the
money
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 used for exploring
space
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 should be used to apply more green
energy
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plant
Fix the agreement mistake
plants
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 to save the fuels and protect the ozone layer from the exhaust they emit.
Additionally
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,
this
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 would save a lot of
money
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 for investors in the future as they would not have to
spent
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spend
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money
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 on
exhaust-filting
Correct article usage
an exhaust-filting
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 program. Critics
has
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have
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 always
justfied
Correct your spelling
justified
 that there would be more benefits in spending on
space
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research
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. They argue that the land is now being polluted by factories and vehicles and finding new land and new
source
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sources
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 of
energy
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 would solve the problem.
This
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 point has credibility, but if major
problems
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 can not be solved through
money
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 that has been wasted for years it could become worse.
Furthermore
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, if recent
problems
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 could not be solved,
this
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 would increase to a larger scale where it couldn't
handle
Wrong verb form
be handled
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 by
UN
Correct article usage
the UN
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 any longer.
While
Linking Words
money
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are
Change the verb form
is
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 spent on
space
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exploring
Replace the word
exploration
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 for the 'greater good', proponents including me
advocates
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advocate
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 the idea
of
Change preposition
that
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 budgets should be spent on starvation and
lacking
Wrong verb form
lack
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 of
energy
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 as there is still no major achievement of
research
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 of outer
space
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 without having the
problems
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 is now being resolved.

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure in your essay.
lexical resource
Expand your lexical resource by using a wider range of vocabulary and more precise word choices.
grammatical range
Work on improving grammatical accuracy and sentence construction.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • scientific discoveries
  • cutting-edge technology
  • pioneering research
  • socio-economic development
  • improved healthcare
  • education
  • poverty alleviation
  • infrastructure
  • balanced approach
  • cost-effective
  • prioritize
  • allocate
  • resources
  • budget
  • investment
  • sustainable development
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