IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#country #health #service #treatments
Many individuals think that their government should have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
free
health
care
.
If
Correct word choice
This
show examples
this
 means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the
service
 because they are too expensive. In
this
easay
Correct your spelling
essay
, I will show the reason why
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 disagree with
this
 statement and give the second face to
extent
Replace the word
extend
show examples
this
 opinion which
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 me
dont
Correct your spelling
not
 agree. First of all,
health
care
 is very in many countries, the MD doctors have a high salary, if the government pay for people who live in
this
 country, it will be a big problem because we
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 know how many people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
use
this
service
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
.
Moreover
, in many big cities,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foreign patients usually go
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
there to use the healthcare
sevice
Correct your spelling
service
 of
this
 country for many reasons, if we have a free
health
service
, the
foreign
Correct quantifier usage
number of foreign
show examples
 patients will
be increase
Change the verb form
increase
show examples
 a lot. If it
come
Change the verb form
comes
show examples
 to real,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 big problem will
be appear
Change the verb form
appear
show examples
 and the
consequency
Correct your spelling
consequence
consequences
is
Verb problem
will
show examples
 so
terrified
Correct word choice
terrifying
show examples
. Currently, many poor people
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 have enough money to go to the hospital. They
cant
Correct your spelling
can't
show examples
 find the solution to take
care
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
health
 when the problem is
comming
Correct your spelling
coming
.
Moreover
, if they have serious
sick
Replace the word
sickness
show examples
, the price for resolving their
health
, and they will problems in
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
 and
health
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. In my opinion, free
health
care
 is not a good idea, because the government have to spend a lot of money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 it.
Moreover
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
 is
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of motivation
for improving
Change preposition
to improve
show examples
 medical
health
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
 for the country in the future. In
concluding
Replace the word
conclusion
show examples
, healthcare should be spent money on,
cause
Correct your spelling
because
show examples
 it
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
 a huge motivation to develop the national medical
care
 of any
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
show examples
 in the world.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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