IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

On one hand, nuclear power provides cheap and clean energy. On the other hand, nuclear weapons are a potent threat to world peace. Do the benefits of nuclear technology outweigh the risks? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#hand #power #energy #weapons #threat #world #peace #technology #risks
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The
use
 of nuclear
power
 still remains debatable. Some people argue that nuclear
power
 has a significant impact on the development of clean
energy
.
On the other hand
, others think that nuclear
power
 can potentially interfere the world peace and human civilization. As an International Relations student, I strongly believe in the latter which emphasizes more on the detrimental effects of nuclear
power
 in the global context. It is commonly known that most of the big
power
 countries,
such
 as the United States of America, the Democratic Republic of Korea, the Republic of China, and many more have been using nuclear
power
 as a weapon. Unfortunately, the international consensus about the utilization of nuclear still remains unclear. Considering the deleterious effects of nuclear for the environment and human well-being, those countries still
use
 nuclear
power
 and portray it as a defense mechanism to justify their political moves.
Consequently
, it brings long-term damage to the people in those targeted areas.
For example
, there are several spots in Hiroshima and Nagasaki which still contaminated by the atomic bomb from the US and Japan war in 1942. Another perspective regarding clean
energy
 from nuclear fusion still has room for discussion. To achieve clean
energy
 as a global sustainable development goal, there are several alternatives to replace the
use
 of nuclear.
For instance
, we can focus on geothermal
energy
, wind
energy
, and many more. The
use
 of nuclear
power
 for
energy
 transformation
also
 has various disadvantages,
such
 as the cost of nuclear development which is relatively higher than other alternatives. In conclusion, I believe that nuclear
power
 brings more drawbacks for human beings. In a broader context, nuclear
power
 has turned into a threat to global peace.
Moreover
, we still have many alternatives left rather than
rely
Wrong verb form
relying
show examples
 on nuclear with its destructive effects.
Therefore
, we can consider banning nuclear
power
.
Submitted by floriehendr on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout the essay.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to enhance your argumentation.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Nuclear power
  • Cheap and clean energy
  • Nuclear weapons
  • Threat to world peace
  • Benefits
  • Risks
  • Potent threat
  • Deterrence
  • Security
  • Accidents
  • Disasters
  • Misuse
  • Balancing
  • Strict regulations
  • International cooperation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: