The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature and make comparisons where relevant.

#proportion #population #three #countries #summarise #information #feature #comparisons

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The chart illustrates the proportion of the

inhabitants

Change to a genitive case

inhabitant's

inhabitants'

show examples

senior citizens in a hundred years in three various countries.

Overall

Linking Words

, the USA and Sweden increasingly rose

while

Linking Words

Japan

Use synonyms

decreased over the period given .At the start of the period USA

grow

Wrong verb form

grew

show examples

steadily in 1940 and reached up to 15% in the

year

Fix the agreement mistake

years

show examples

1980-1990.

Then

Linking Words

USA maintained a constant low

indicates

Verb problem

apply

show examples

in the year 2020 . It is hoped to be doubled and reach nearly 25% in 2040 . In

Sweden

Add a comma

Sweden,

show examples

the percentage of aged people grew from about 7% in 2040 to 15% in 2000,

Correct pronoun usage

which is

show examples

heavily towards 25% in 2040

while

Linking Words

Use synonyms

Japan

Change preposition

in Japan

show examples

from 1960 to 2030 it remained below 5 percent . A glance at the graph makes it clear that

Japan

Use synonyms

will have

Correct word choice

a higher

show examples

percentage of the aged population in the future despite its

less

Correct word choice

lower

show examples

percentage of

this

Linking Words

population in the early 40s . The line graph clearly

opens

Verb problem

shows

show examples

that all of the three countries will increase in 2040 and

Japan

Use synonyms

will take the first place.

Submitted by aiaulymqasymzhanqyzy on Mon Oct 30 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words japan with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.

▼

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

168 words

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The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature and make comparisons where relevant.

Q. The government should ban smoking in all public places, even though this would restrict some people's freedoms. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer.

University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their studies. Do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

International travel brings benefits to travellers and the countries visited, but it also harms for the environment. Do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

You had a problem while staying at a hotel and the receptionist was very helpful. Write a letter to the manager of the hotel. In your letter, – describe the problem that you had – explain how the receptionist helped you – suggest ways to prevent the problem from happening again.