The diagram illustrates how bees produce honey. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram illustrates how bees produce honey. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
diagram
showcases
Rephrase
below showcases
show examples
the process of how
bees
Use synonyms
can make honey.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are seven main steps. The first
step
Use synonyms
happens within the beehive. Worker
bees
Use synonyms
prepare themselves for their regular trip to nature to extract
pollen
Use synonyms
from the
flowers
Use synonyms
Change preposition
on
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
their route. Once the
bees
Use synonyms
go outside of their beehive in the hunt for blooming
flowers
Use synonyms
, it means that we have already reached
step
Use synonyms
two. In the third
step
Use synonyms
, we will find the
bees
Use synonyms
resting upon
flowers
Use synonyms
. During
this
Linking Words
step
Use synonyms
, the
bees
Use synonyms
are extracting
pollen
Use synonyms
and nectar that are produced by the
flowers
Use synonyms
.
Pollen
Use synonyms
is a powder-like substance,
whereas
Linking Words
nectar is a sweet liquid excreted by the
flowers
Use synonyms
. The
bees
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
flutter back to their hive with the
pollen
Use synonyms
and
flowers
Use synonyms
in their possession. Steps four to six all occur within the reins of the hive. Upon arriving back to their home, the
bees
Use synonyms
will
then
Linking Words
store the extraction in these hexagon-shaped organisms. The next
step
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
being the fifth, will be when the
bees
Use synonyms
flutter their wings on top of the hexagon containers,
hence
Linking Words
providing an air current of sorts to process the
pollen
Use synonyms
and nectar
further
Linking Words
.
Then
Linking Words
,
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the sixth
step
Use synonyms
, liquid (mostly from the water) will go through a process of evaporation, and with
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
leaving a thick substance that we know as honey. The
last
Linking Words
step
Use synonyms
would be the extraction of honey from the beehives. The extraction would
then
Linking Words
be transferred to small jars and
then
Linking Words
distributed to the market.
Submitted by floriehendr on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words bees, step, pollen, flowers with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Metamorphosis
  • Nectar
  • Foraging
  • Pollination
  • Worker bees
  • House bees
  • Honey stomach
  • Honeycomb cells
  • Beeswax
  • Evaporation
  • Hexagon-shaped
  • Simple sugars
  • Enzymes
  • Capping
  • Preserve
What to do next:
Look at other essays: