Some people think that illegal Internet downloads are having a negative effect on the music industry. Others feel that have little or no impact on artists. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

#people #internet #downloads #effect #music #industry #impact #artists

Nowadays, people can

download

music or

movies

without paying. But there is a question , is it a crime or not? In some

region

Fix the agreement mistake

regions

show examples

downloading these contents is a crime but in some other countries, you can easily

download

any content. For intense in our country, we can

download

Hollywood films for free without paying for a Netflix or HBO account. We can even

download

our own shows and not pay for Filimo or Namava.

First,

I want to say that downloading other countries'

movies

should not be illegal for countries like

Correct pronoun usage

ours

show examples

. Because of the value of our money, it is not affordable for us to buy Netflix or Spotify accounts per month.

Second,

if I want to comment about downloading our own country's

movies

, it should be illegal but no one cares.

To sum up

, if our money was not that worthless we would not have to break the rules and

download

movies

or music, but because of

this

, I think it is no problem to

download

them.

Submitted by TUTOO on Mon Oct 30 2023

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task response

Your essay does not fully address all aspects of the topic. You mainly focus on the affordability of streaming services rather than discussing both sides of the argument or providing a balanced evaluation.

coherence cohesion

Your essay lacks a clear structure and coherence. It jumps between different ideas without sufficient transitions or logical progression. Consider organizing your paragraphs more effectively to enhance the overall flow of your essay.

lexical resource

Your use of vocabulary is limited, and there is a lack of variety in your word choice. Try to incorporate more diverse and precise vocabulary to enhance the quality of your writing.

grammatical range

There are several grammar errors throughout your essay. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and sentence structure. Proofread your work carefully to avoid these mistakes.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

170 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

illegal downloads
financial losses
record labels
decrease in sales
perception
undermine
upcoming artists
pirated
exposure
concert attendance
merchandise sales
alternative revenue streams
live performances
sponsorships
streaming platforms
business models
loyal fan base
adapt
mitigate
thrive

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Some people think that illegal Internet downloads are having a negative effect on the music industry. Others feel that have little or no impact on artists. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries, people are moving away from rural areas and towards urban areas. Why do you think that is? What problems can this cause?

Nowadays, young people admire sports stars though they often do not set a good example. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

When it comes to language education, there are differing opinions. Some believe that small class sizes are ideal for language learning, while others contend that the number of students does not impact the learning experience significantly. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.（文化）