Many people today would argue that cinemas are becoming irrelevant due to new streaming services. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #cinemas #services

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A multitude at present are of the opinion that film halls are continuing to be not useful anymore

as a result

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of new streaming platforms being available. From my viewpoint, I strongly agree with

this

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notion

due to

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the convenience that it offers to people and the ability to choose their interests out of a wide range of options.

Firstly

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, it is notable that the working crowd who had been experiencing a hectic work life during the peak hours of the day

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

finds some spare time during different time intervals which are unique from person to person.

Hence

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although

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they would like to watch the most awaited movies which are screening in a cinema,

due to

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the inability to shift work, they might miss chances to enjoy it,

however

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, having access to Netflix will allow them to watch it at any convenient time, in any selected comfy mode with the opportunity to pause and watch later too.

Due to

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the flexibility and freedom it provides, there is no requirement for people to go to a theatre to watch a screenplay.

Secondly

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, the online platforms provide a range of options for the spectator to choose between their interesting movies.

Moreover

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, it becomes enjoyable

as well as

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effective entertainment as folks do not need to wait in queues to buy tickets to watch a less interesting movie from a cinema.

In addition

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to that, YouTube and Netflix could be considered ideal solutions for introverted personalities who would like to enjoy their company alone by watching a movie at home. In conclusion, I completely agree with the norm of many individuals that the theatre halls are gradually shaping up to be incompatible with the trends in society

due to

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the emergence of newly introduced broadcasting services

due to

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the flexible and comfortable experience provided by a lot of options to choose between films.

Submitted by tnirmani94 on Mon Oct 30 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the ideas within the paragraph are logically organized.

coherence cohesion

Include a brief introduction and a conclusion that summarize your main points.

lexical resource

Expand your vocabulary and use a wider range of synonyms and collocations.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure and vary your sentence lengths and types.

11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

310 words

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