IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job. Write a letter to the shop or the company which supplied the equipment. In your letter Describe the problem with the equipment Explain how this problem is affecting your work  Say what you want the shop or company to do

#work #home #piece #equipment #job #shop #company #describe #explain
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Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing a complaint to default
computer
Use synonyms
 machine of your company. Since I purchased a device from the Packages Mall I
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 been facing a problem
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
 technology.
Besides
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, the wires of the
computer
Use synonyms
 are loose and it
doesn't
Verb problem
isn't
show examples
 stuck in the
switchs
Correct your spelling
switches
switch
. Whenever I turn on the
computer
Use synonyms
 windows it always
shutdown
Correct your spelling
shut down
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 the
cpu
Correct your spelling
CPU
 wire. When I work on the machine it disturbs me a lot
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
 during my office work and so that it irritates to me.
Linking Words
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, the
computer
Use synonyms
 keyboard
is not being working
Change the verb form
is not being worked
is not working
show examples
 properly because of not using good material.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the windows
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
also
Linking Words
 not installed
according to
Linking Words
 the capacity of the cpu. It creates problems
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the window so my all data is not saved. I gave a heavy amount for
this
Linking Words
 machine and it didn't work
according to
Linking Words
 my expectations
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
disappointing
Add a missing verb
is disappointing
show examples
 that you are
supply
Wrong verb form
supplying
show examples
 default tools. I suggest you to please check before
deliver
Wrong verb form
delivering
show examples
 to the
computer
Use synonyms
 shops.
Moreover
Linking Words
, you can deliver to the verified markets so that it will be beneficial for the customers to use
a good quality products
Correct the article-noun agreement
good quality products
a good quality product
show examples
. I am looking forward to hearing from you as soon as possible. Yours Faithfully,
Submitted by mobinadurrani43 on

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task response
Address the prompt clearly and appropriately. The letter lacks a clear description of the problem with the equipment and does not effectively explain how the problem is affecting the writer's work. Make sure to provide a detailed account of the issues with the equipment and how they impact your work.
coherence cohesion
The coherence and cohesion of the letter is weak. The logical structure is disorganized, and there is a lack of coherence between ideas. The greeting and closing are insufficient and do not adhere to formal letter writing conventions. Ensure that the letter follows a logical order, with clear paragraphing and appropriate greeting and closing for a formal letter.
lexical resource
The lexical resource in the letter is limited, and there are several instances of unclear or incorrect vocabulary use. Additionally, there are grammar and spelling errors present throughout the letter. Expand your vocabulary and proofread the letter to ensure appropriate word choice and accuracy.
grammatical range
There are multiple grammatical errors in the letter, including tense usage, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. It is important to review and correct these errors to improve the overall grammatical range of the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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