Government investment in arts such as music and theater is a wastage of money. Government must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Entertainment is one of the important things that all
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
need and it is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
government
Change noun form
government's
show examples
responsability
Correct your spelling
responsibility
to offer it. Some
people
think that
government
do not have
spending
Change the verb form
to spend
show examples
money on arts like song, music and
theater
Change the spelling
theatre
show examples
because it
bacome
Correct your spelling
become
to lose sources of
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
so they have to use money only
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
general services . In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
we will argue that entertainment is not as necessary as
puplic
Correct your spelling
public
services.
Firstly
,
Correct article usage
the requirment
show examples
requirment
Correct your spelling
requirements
of
people
is
applyed
Correct your spelling
applied
by
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
. Satisfaction and
happyness
Correct your spelling
happiness
rely on what
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
offer
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
citizens. Investment in building hoses,hospitals with high quality
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
medications, focusing on teaching
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
of subjects and
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
student skills,
,
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apply
show examples
in
addition
Add the comma(s)
addition,
show examples
increase number of employee all
otf
Correct your spelling
of
these make
people
relaxe
Correct your spelling
relax
relaxed
instead
of arts. If the
auther
Correct your spelling
author
authors
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not
investment
Replace the word
invest
show examples
money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
a good facilities
Correct the article-noun agreement
good facilities
a good facility
show examples
for
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
life, they will be angry.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
the other hand, some
people
think that entertainment is as important as
another needs
Replace the adjective
another need
other needs
show examples
. It is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
best for all to
consume
Verb problem
spend
show examples
their leisure time on
intersting
Correct your spelling
interesting
things rather than spending moments on boring thinking that may cause to increase
crime
Change preposition
in crime
show examples
or family
memebers
Correct your spelling
members
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
.
government
have been invested equally between needs and enjoyment.
This
essay
argued
Wrong verb form
argues
show examples
that
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
requirments
Correct your spelling
requirements
are an absolute imperative
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
pastime
Add an article
a pastime
show examples
. When
facilities
Add a verb
facilities are
facilities were
show examples
available,
people
would less need to
liesure
Correct your spelling
leisure
time.
That
is mean
Wrong verb form
means
show examples
it is
sufficent
Correct your spelling
sufficient
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
to feel happy.
Submitted by zr.a.r on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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