The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
In contemporary society,
science
advances in every Replace the word
scientific
aspects
of Change to a singular noun
aspect
human’s
lives Change noun form
human
is
undeniable. Correct subject-verb agreement
are
However
, the urgent demand for more substantial discoveries and innovations for the improvement and convenience of the
Correct article usage
apply
human
and the earth is more tangible than Fix the agreement mistake
humans
any
other time worldwide Change preposition
at any
that
in Correct word choice
apply
this
essay I will explain them
.
Correct pronoun usage
apply
Firstly
, tremendous medical revolutionary solutions have been introduced by science
advancements, Replace the word
scientific
which
many people owe their Correct word choice
and
life
to Fix the agreement mistake
lives
that
. Correct pronoun usage
them
However
, I believe that science
could take more effective steps in curing untreated illnesses that have been
remained incurable up to now. Unnecessary verb
apply
For instance
, to eradicate various cancers or MS, there have not been found any permanent medical solutions, therefore
a myriad of people are currently struggling with heart-rending symptoms of their illnesses. Thus
, enjoying a tranquil life without excruciating pain for patients would be achievable, if more efficient measures are discovered by
the help of Change preposition
with
science
.
Secondly
, in terms of persevering
the Earth and the Verb problem
preserving
human’s
lives Change noun form
human
science
have
had Correct subject-verb agreement
has
appreciable
role. To illustrate Add an article
an appreciable
the appreciable
this
, tanks
to the Correct your spelling
thanks
science
seeding clouds results in artificial rain that has not only rescued widespread lands from drought,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
converted them to fertile and productive farms. Otherwise
, vast areas of the Earth had been
uninhabitable for all creatures. Wrong verb form
would be
Furthermore
, global warming and climate change have become disruptive
phenomenon that significantly requires scientific interactions more urgently.
In conclusion, Add an article
a disruptive
the disruptive
although
science
has had substantial impacts in improving life situation, over time increasing demands for its help is needed. Dependency on science
is incomparable with any other thing in the world, thus
trying assiduously to attain more successes
is vital.Fix the agreement mistake
success
Submitted by golriiz23 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have done quite well in structuring your essay. The introduction sets up the argument clearly, and there is a conclusion that summarizes your points. However, work a bit more on improving the flow of your ideas, ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
Lexical Resource
You have a good command of vocabulary and use a range of vocabulary; however, there are a couple of occasions where words are not used correctly (e.g. 'tanks' instead of 'thanks'). Be sure to proofread your work before submitting.
Task Response
Your response is fully relevant and extended, and you have developed some excellent, convincing ideas and provided some apt examples; well done! However, there is still room for expanding the depth of your analysis.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
You've used a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, showing your ability to express ideas using different grammatical structures. However, there are still minor errors that you need to watch out for, as well as areas where you could better utilize complex sentence structures.