The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#aim #science #people’s #lives

In contemporary society,

science

Replace the word

scientific

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advances in every

aspects

Change to a singular noun

aspect

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human’s

Change noun form

human

show examples

lives

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

undeniable.

However

, the urgent demand for more substantial discoveries and innovations for the improvement and convenience of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

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and the earth is more tangible than

any

Change preposition

at any

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other time worldwide

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

this

essay I will explain

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

Firstly

, tremendous medical revolutionary solutions have been introduced by

science

Replace the word

scientific

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advancements,

which

Correct word choice

and

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many people owe their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

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that

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

However

, I believe that

science

could take more effective steps in curing untreated illnesses that have

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

remained incurable up to now.

For instance

, to eradicate various cancers or MS, there have not been found any permanent medical solutions,

therefore

a myriad of people are currently struggling with heart-rending symptoms of their illnesses.

Thus

, enjoying a tranquil life without excruciating pain for patients would be achievable, if more efficient measures are discovered

Change preposition

with

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the help of

science

Secondly

, in terms of

persevering

Verb problem

preserving

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the Earth and the

human’s

Change noun form

human

show examples

lives

science

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

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had

appreciable

Add an article

an appreciable

the appreciable

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role. To illustrate

this

tanks

Correct your spelling

thanks

show examples

to the

science

seeding clouds results in artificial rain that has not only rescued widespread lands from drought

Remove the comma

apply

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but

also

converted them to fertile and productive farms.

Otherwise

, vast areas of the Earth

had been

Wrong verb form

would be

show examples

uninhabitable for all creatures.

Furthermore

, global warming and climate change have become

disruptive

Add an article

a disruptive

the disruptive

show examples

phenomenon that significantly requires scientific interactions more urgently. In conclusion,

although

science

has had substantial impacts in improving life situation, over time increasing demands for its help is needed. Dependency on

science

is incomparable with any other thing in the world,

thus

trying assiduously to attain more

successes

Fix the agreement mistake

success

show examples

is vital.

Submitted by golriiz23 on Mon Oct 30 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

You have done quite well in structuring your essay. The introduction sets up the argument clearly, and there is a conclusion that summarizes your points. However, work a bit more on improving the flow of your ideas, ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.

Lexical Resource

You have a good command of vocabulary and use a range of vocabulary; however, there are a couple of occasions where words are not used correctly (e.g. 'tanks' instead of 'thanks'). Be sure to proofread your work before submitting.

Task Response

Your response is fully relevant and extended, and you have developed some excellent, convincing ideas and provided some apt examples; well done! However, there is still room for expanding the depth of your analysis.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

You've used a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, showing your ability to express ideas using different grammatical structures. However, there are still minor errors that you need to watch out for, as well as areas where you could better utilize complex sentence structures.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

crucial role
enhancing
quality of human life
advancements
medicine
healthcare
scientific research
solving societal problems
improving living standards
global issues
climate change
food scarcity
technological advancements
limitations
negative consequences
ethical considerations
sustainability
environmental preservation

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More and more people are suffering from health problems caused by a modern life style which cannot be treated with modern medicines. Some people think that a return to traditional medicines should be encouraged. To what extent do you agree?

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