IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What prombles does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Start now →
Introduction
It is obvious that the
number
Use synonyms
 of doctors and teachers
are play
Change the verb form
are playing
show examples
 a vital role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a
country
Use synonyms
 where leaving their own poorer nations to
developed
Wrong verb form
develop
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
 what
problem
Use synonyms
does
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
couse
Correct your spelling
causes
 and what can be done
deal
Fix the infinitive
to deal
show examples
.
Change preposition
with.
show examples
Body · 1
On the one hand, Every
countries
Change to a singular noun
country
show examples
 need a
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who are developing a
nation
Use synonyms
 and it is
equaly
Correct your spelling
equally
 necessary for every
department
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as education,
medical
Replace the word
medicine
show examples
,
agricultureso
Correct your spelling
agriculture
 on.
Firstly
Linking Words
, an increasing
number
Use synonyms
 of professional
people
Use synonyms
 are valueless for the same
department
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, In one
department
Use synonyms
 enough for 10 to 20
scientists
Use synonyms
although
Linking Words
where
Correct your spelling
there
show examples
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
 50
scientists
Use synonyms
 which is
Use synonyms
problem
Add an article
a problem
show examples
 for that
department
Use synonyms
 and
also
Linking Words
 it is a
problem
Use synonyms
 for that
country
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as low salary , proper respect,
Correct word choice
and job
show examples
job less
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
an Incrasing
show examples
Incrasing
Correct your spelling
Increasing
number
Use synonyms
 of
scientists
Use synonyms
 can not
efforts
Correct your spelling
afford
show examples
 a
nation
Use synonyms
which is
Verb problem
that
show examples
demotivate
Wrong verb form
demotivates
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who are
doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
show examples
 and
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
.
Body · 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, It is indeed true that
doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
show examples
 and
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 are
increas
Correct your spelling
increase
increasing
 in
this
Linking Words
 era and a
nation
Use synonyms
 can
slove
Correct your spelling
solve
show examples
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, A poor
nation
Use synonyms
 can provide job opportunities for
scientists
Use synonyms
 in other countries which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not only help to
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 reduce conflict
scientist
Change preposition
in scientist
show examples
 job.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
an inceasing
show examples
inceasing
Correct your spelling
increasing
Use synonyms
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of doctors and teacher
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 important for a poor
country
Use synonyms
 because only education help
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
nation
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
 development.
For example
Linking Words
,
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
China is a
sucessful
Correct your spelling
successful
country
Use synonyms
 only
for
Change preposition
because of
show examples
 their professional
people
Use synonyms
 who help to
growing
Change the verb form
grow
show examples
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 development and
economey
Correct your spelling
economy
.
As a result
Linking Words
, increasing
Correct article usage
the scientsts
show examples
scientsts
Correct your spelling
scientists
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
all the
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 time
problem
Use synonyms
 for a
nation
Use synonyms
.
Conclusion
To sum up
Linking Words
, More
scientists
Use synonyms
 are inconvenient for a
country
Use synonyms
 even though a poor
nation
Use synonyms
 can easily
developm
Correct your spelling
develop
 for professionals.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay does not fully address the task requirements. It lacks clear and specific examples to support the points made. Provide more relevant examples to support the ideas.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is somewhat confusing, and the introduction and conclusion need improvement. Ensure that the essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion with proper linking of ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: