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Band 4

In order to study at university, students are required to pay expensive tuition fee. Not all students can afford them, so some people think that university education should be free for everyone. Do you agree or disagree with this?

#study #university #students #tuition #fee #people #education
A glance at a line graph provided reveals the information of the fund for five different fields, namely food, leisure, clothing items, means of transport and energy, measured in
percent
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per cent
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, from 1960 to 2000.
Overall
, almost all data experienced a recessive growth pattern except for that of costumes. In terms of the financial support of food, being the highest at over 30 in 1960, it declined relentlessly and rapidly to nearly 15 after 40 years. With regard to the spending amount of money on leisure things, it was the second highest compared to others at exactly 20 in 1960, which
then
 decreased gradually to more than 10 in 2000. Regarding that
of
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transport and clothing, despite having the homogenous commencing point at around 10 in the first year, they had distinct growth patterns.
While
 the former dwarved slightly to 5 after a 40-year period of time, the latter witnessed a marginal acceleration to 15 which became the highest amount in 2000. With respect to the money spent on energy, it was the lowest cost which started at 5 before deteriorating steadily to about 0 in the
last
 year.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion. However, improve the coherence by organizing your ideas more logically.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more varied words and phrases.
grammatical range
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structures. Use more complex sentence structures.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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