IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You are planning a holiday abroad and will be visiting a town where an old friend lives. You haven't spoken to this friend in a few years. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: •give a brief update of your life since last in touch •Explain why you will be travelling to his/her town • say what you plan to do when you visit their town

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Dear Kamal, I hope you’re doing well. It was great to think about our old days together. I am writing to tell you about my upcoming holiday and to let you know that I will be visiting your town, Brampton.
Firstly
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, I know it has been a long time since we
last
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 spoke to each other. After graduating, you moved to Canada for
further
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 studies,
while
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 I started my postgraduate studies here. I
also
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 got married after completing my degree.
As a result
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, I became quite busy with my personal life and
Punctuation problem
, unfortunately
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unfortunately
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unfortunately,
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 could not stay in touch with you. Another thing I wanted to mention is that my husband is planning to celebrate my birthday abroad, and we are going to Canada next month. We will celebrate my birthday with some friends and family members who live there. It will be a great opportunity for me to take a break from my usual routine and spend some quality time with my loved ones.
Finally
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, when I visit Brampton, I would love to meet you and explore some nearby places together. We could visit Toronto, Niagara Falls and the Blue Mountains. I have heard a lot about these places, particularly their beautiful scenery and picturesque views. It would be wonderful to catch up after so many years and make some new memories together. I hope you’ll be available next month. Please let me know when you are free, as I am really looking forward to seeing you again. Best wishes, Sami

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task response
Give a little more detail about your life now, such as your work or where you live. This would make the update feel more full.
task response
Say when you will be in Brampton and how long you will stay. This will help Kamal plan a time to meet.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are in a clear order. You can make the links even more natural by using simple words like “also”, “because”, and “so” where needed.
coherence and cohesion
The last paragraph could be shorter and more direct. For example, ask Kamal to tell you which day is best for him.
task response
You answer all parts of the letter: you give news about your life, explain the trip, and say what you want to do in the town.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a clear start, middle, and end. Each paragraph has one main idea, so it is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
The greeting and closing are warm and suitable for a friend you have not seen for a long time.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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