The top priority of bussiness is making money, and they do not need to have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Many companies focus on finding
budget
Correct article usage
a budget
show examples
, but they
do
Verb problem
are
show examples
not
interesting
Replace the word
interested
show examples
in communities. In my opinion, I think that
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
should to making income and taking care of communities too.
This
essay will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
this
statement, and I will give reasons to support
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
my ideas. On the one hand, making income is very important for companies because
employment
Replace the word
employees
show examples
need
money
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
management
such
as paying
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
to
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
, they must
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
spend
money
to produce new products.
For example
, restaurants must
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
spend
money
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
Add an article
the employer
show examples
employer
Replace the word
employees
show examples
, and
buying
Wrong verb form
buy
show examples
the
stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
to prepare
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
. So, if they do not have
money
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
business will close. I believe that
employment
Replace the word
employees
show examples
need to
making
Change the verb
make
show examples
money
because they have many to spend
likes
Replace the word
like
show examples
facilities.
On the other hand
,
sociable
Add a missing verb
being sociable
show examples
is very common to us too
likes
Wrong verb form
like
show examples
humans around the world must
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
have a good environment.
Thus
, if many businessmen only prefer to get income and they don't think about
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
lives and nature,
this
action will be bad for humans
such
as they will live in bad pollution.
For instance
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
carbon dioxide has been increasing because of
Add an article
the factory
a factory
show examples
factory
Correct your spelling
factors
show examples
that they need to save
money
to reduce it.
Therefore
, I believe that
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
need to think about social life too.
To sum up
, I surely agree that both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
money
and social responsibilities are very important for us, and I believe that if employment
prefer
Change the verb form
prefers
show examples
to think about two things together is
very
Add an article
a very
the very
show examples
better way to
development
Replace the word
develop
show examples
because we will have a good nature and we will have an economic.
Submitted by itchayatop31 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that your essay fully addresses all aspects of the prompt and provides a clear stance on the issue.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the overall coherence and organization of your essay by creating a more structured and logical flow of ideas.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and aim for more precise and accurate word choices.
grammatical range
Work on improving your sentence structures and ensure that your sentences are grammatically correct.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • top priority
  • making money
  • social responsibilities
  • businesses
  • agree
  • counter argument
  • refutation
  • importance
  • personal opinion
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!