Computers are now the basis of the modern world. They should therefore be introduced into classrooms, and their programs used for direct teaching purposes. However, dependence on computers in teaching may carry a certain degree of risk to students. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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It is widely known that

Use synonyms

computer

Correct article usage

the computer

show examples

has become an essential thing for people in

this

Linking Words

modern world,

therefore

Linking Words

, is supposed to be introduced directly in

school

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However

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, there is a doubt that it is likely to have a detrimental effect on

school

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children

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. I tend to think that, in

this

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technology era we rely too much on

Use synonyms

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

to support our daily tasks and

this

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essay will discuss more about these two views in the following paragraph. On the one hand, it is generally seen that

computer

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cutting edge

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cutting-edge

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technology that

have

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has

show examples

become major tools in order to tackle our daily tasks.

This

Linking Words

means that

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apply

show examples

people have a tendency to rely on

this

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technology and everyone should have at least basic knowledge to operate.

School

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children

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in my country

for example

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, since it become mandatory to do

exam

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the exam

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online, the government provide

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computer

Add an article

a computer

show examples

in every

school

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with a session to learn that subject in order to support those who never operated the tool.

Thus

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, providing learning material and having that subject is really beneficial for them in the long run.

On the other hand

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, there is a consideration that letting

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children

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use

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computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

could bring negative effects on their lives mainly health problems.

This

Linking Words

is because they spend too much time on screen during class and perhaps still

use

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it to do an assignment. As a matter of fact, their eyes radiate by and get weakened in front of the screen.

Therefore

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, in my

view

Add a comma

view,

show examples

even

Linking Words

this

Correct word choice

though this

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development has

negative

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a negative

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side, still can

be mitigate

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be mitigated

show examples

with simple

rule

Fix the agreement mistake

rules

show examples

such

Linking Words

teach

Wrong verb form

teaching

show examples

users to

use

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accordingly

Linking Words

To conclude

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, I personally believe that it is

undeniably

Change the word

undeniable

show examples

that

Use synonyms

computer

Correct article usage

the computer

show examples

is the main source for everyone nowadays.

That is

Linking Words

the reason why having

computer

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class at

school

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is recommended to though

children

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operate the tools.

In addition

Linking Words

, to mitigate any harm caused by

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Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

can

done

Add a missing verb

be done

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by encouraging them to

use

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Linking Words

Correct pronoun usage

them according

show examples

according

Correct pronoun usage

them according

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to the schedule.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Tue Oct 31 2023

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task response

Provide a more balanced discussion of both sides of the argument. Present more counterarguments to support your opinion.

coherence and cohesion

Improve the organization and coherence of your essay. Use clear transitions between paragraphs.

lexical resource

Expand your vocabulary and use more precise and varied language to express your ideas.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to ensure accurate and varied language use.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

324 words

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Computers are now the basis of the modern world. They should therefore be introduced into classrooms, and their programs used for direct teaching purposes. However, dependence on computers in teaching may carry a certain degree of risk to students. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Many doctors recommend that older people exercise regularly, but most patients do not follow an exercise routine. Why do you think this happens? How can people be encouraged to exercise regularly?

Some people believe that when designing a building, the most important thing to be considered is the function rather than the outlook. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some people are afraid to go out for fear of being robbed on the streets. Still, there are robberies that happen inside houses. What do you think is the best thing a person can do to ensure his/her own security? Use specific reasons and examples to support.