Public museums and art galleries are not needed because people could see historical objects and works by using computers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
With the fast-developing of the internet, it is easily accessible for the public to have a museum or gallery tour by
the
means of going to an online website. Correct article usage
apply
As
Change preposition
For
for
this
reason, there is an argument about whether museums and galleries are needed among
Change preposition
by
people
. In my opinion, the internet visits will not replace the physical ones.
It is more meaningful not only for the
ordinary Correct article usage
apply
people
but also
for the
artists to pay a visit to Correct article usage
apply
the
public museums or Correct article usage
apply
art
galleries in person. Because at
there you can spend as much time as you can Change preposition
apply
in
observing the details of the acts which could be a piece of Change preposition
apply
jewelry
or a vase from Change the spelling
jewellery
Tang
dynasty. Correct article usage
the Tang
In contrast
, there are some drawbacks by
using Change preposition
to
computer
. One is that it might not make it possible to see the shining of the precious stones or the bright Add an article
the computer
a computer
color
of the vases, which makes the visit meaningless in some way by glancing Change the spelling
colour
the
valuable artworks.
Change preposition
at the
Furthermore
, visiting a museum or a gallery is a nice way to get rid of the monotony of the daily lives
. Because there is Fix the agreement mistake
life
constant
a harmonious atmosphere in Change the word
constantly
this
kind of place, which can effectively help to reduce visitors’ stress. For example
, spending a weekend day with family or friends appreciating pieces of art
can lessen the boredom of the
city life, which might enlighten the Correct article usage
apply
mind
of Fix the agreement mistake
minds
people
.
Moreover
, these places of art
can also
boost the economy of the local area. Since nowadays counting
on Wrong verb form
count
the
convenient public transportation, Correct article usage
apply
people
are never tired of traveling
far Change the spelling
travelling
distance
to take a snap, Fix the agreement mistake
distances
then
post them to their social media, which means that tourists will consume at the local restaurants and hotels. And the increase in tourism revenue can lead Correct word choice
and then
an
improvement Change preposition
to an
of
local Change preposition
in
people
’s living standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
as well as
the infrastructure, such
as the roads.
In conclusion, within the foreseeable future, I would like to say that museums or art
galleries are required to exist and they cannot be replaced by digital tours.Submitted by 949918007 on
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task response
Make sure to fully address the question prompt. In this essay, you have discussed the importance of physical museum and gallery visits over virtual tours.
coherence and cohesion
Overall, your essay is well-organized and coherent. However, try to provide more explicit transitions between paragraphs to improve the overall cohesion.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is generally accurate and varied. To further enhance your lexical resource, consider incorporating more sophisticated terminology related to art and culture.
grammatical range
Your grammatical range is commendable with minimal errors. However, be cautious of subject-verb agreement and sentence structure consistency.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.