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Band 3.5

Establishing good relationships in the workplace is not important, as the primary goal of every person is to focus on work. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#relationships #workplace #person #focus #work
These days,
public
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the public
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 has been going on over whether Making
relationships
 in different places is important to grow your business and make yourself confident.l tend to believe that
create
Wrong verb form
creating
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friendship
Fix the agreement mistake
friendships
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 is something
benefit in
Correct word choice
beneficial
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 anywhere it gives an impression of your personality that you are confident, sociable, and adaptable in any circumstances.  Three main factors support the idea of creating
relationships
 in
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
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 the primary factor we need to take into consideration is
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
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show to others how you are
confident
Correct word choice
apply
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.Meanwhile, it helps you to avoid any problems in your job obviously,if your relationship with your manager and colleagues is a friendly relationship, it is completely different in dealing with the problems and difficulties that you will face at work.
Hence
,people
whose
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 don't like to make
relationships
 inside their work
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will face a lot of challenges and difficulties with their colleagues and Managers and they will
can't
Verb problem
not be able to
show examples
 deal with it . I admit that people have to make different
relationships
 in different areas and situations to make themself aware of their responsibilities. Despite that, do not take the risk of making the relationship go beyond work and into personal life because it will lead to problems. In conclusion, l would argue that
Correct your spelling
relationships
rrelationships
Correct your spelling
relationships
 are a beautiful thing and reveal to you the true nature of a person and show you the way to raise him through his behavior with you
Submitted by ft00m_309 on

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task response
Ensure that you fully address the prompt and clearly state your position on the importance of establishing relationships in the workplace.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas in a clear and logical manner, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary to include more varied and precise words and phrases. This will enhance the clarity and effectiveness of your arguments.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammatical accuracy. Make sure your sentences are grammatically correct and use a variety of sentence structures.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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