IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Establishing good relationships in the workplace is not important, as the primary goal of every person is to focus on work. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#relationships #workplace #person #focus #work
These days,
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 has been going on over whether Making
relationships
 in different places is important to grow your business and make yourself confident.l tend to believe that
create
Wrong verb form
creating
show examples
friendship
Fix the agreement mistake
friendships
show examples
 is something
benefit in
Correct word choice
beneficial
show examples
 anywhere it gives an impression of your personality that you are confident, sociable, and adaptable in any circumstances.  Three main factors support the idea of creating
relationships
 in
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
 the primary factor we need to take into consideration is
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
show to others how you are
confident
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
.Meanwhile, it helps you to avoid any problems in your job obviously,if your relationship with your manager and colleagues is a friendly relationship, it is completely different in dealing with the problems and difficulties that you will face at work.
Hence
,people
whose
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 don't like to make
relationships
 inside their work
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will face a lot of challenges and difficulties with their colleagues and Managers and they will
can't
Verb problem
not be able to
show examples
 deal with it . I admit that people have to make different
relationships
 in different areas and situations to make themself aware of their responsibilities. Despite that, do not take the risk of making the relationship go beyond work and into personal life because it will lead to problems. In conclusion, l would argue that
Correct your spelling
relationships
rrelationships
Correct your spelling
relationships
 are a beautiful thing and reveal to you the true nature of a person and show you the way to raise him through his behavior with you
Submitted by ft00m_309 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that you fully address the prompt and clearly state your position on the importance of establishing relationships in the workplace.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas in a clear and logical manner, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary to include more varied and precise words and phrases. This will enhance the clarity and effectiveness of your arguments.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammatical accuracy. Make sure your sentences are grammatically correct and use a variety of sentence structures.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: