People who live in large cities face a range of problems in their daily life What are the most significant of these problems? How can these problems be tackled
In urban areas,
people
are living with many difficult problems
everyday
. The root cause for Replace the word
every day
this
is environment
Replace the word
environmental
pollutions
and lack of Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
accomodations
, yet it can be solved by Correct your spelling
accommodations
accommodation
government
Correct article usage
the government
encourage
citizens to protect Wrong verb form
encouraging
environment
, Add an article
the environment
as well as
spread
more spaces Wrong verb form
spreading
forn
Correct your spelling
for
human
to liveFix the agreement mistake
humans
.
The Change preposition
in.
princpal
cause of Correct your spelling
principal
environment
Replace the word
environmental
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
influence
Change the verb form
influences
at
Change preposition
apply
human's
daily Change noun form
human
life
. It can be seen that poisonous emissions are exhausted to the environment
from industrial factories and vehicles, causing air pollution or water pollution. If people
live in contaminated air, it may affect to
their health significantly Change preposition
apply
by
lung cancer Change preposition
with
respiratory
system Correct word choice
and respiratory
problem
. Fix the agreement mistake
problems
For instance
, in Vietnam
the rate of Add a comma
Vietnam,
people
died
Wrong verb form
dying
by
lung cancer is very high because of living in Change preposition
of
polluted
atmosphereCorrect article usage
a polluted
a
long time.
Another factor may not be enough places for Change preposition
for a
human
to live. Fix the agreement mistake
humans
In other words
, today the population in big cities is increasing considerably, but the cities have many buildings, skyscrapers and industrial areas so that
many poor Correct word choice
apply
people
may not have money to buy houses. Consequently
, the rate of homeless people
is increasing and more people
turn into criminals, so it will affect to
the quality Change preposition
apply
life
of citizens. Change preposition
of life
For instance
, in some developing countries, the government only focus on the growth of economy
and industrialisation, so they use any spaces to set up a lot of industrial areas and tourist attractions.
To solve these Correct article usage
the economy
problems
, the best possitive
solution Correct your spelling
positive
i
think that Change the capitalization
I
government
must take more action to improve Correct article usage
the government
people
's life
. They can have more work Fix the agreement mistake
lives
policy
to help everyone Fix the agreement mistake
policies
can
have Verb problem
apply
job
to maintain their Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
life
to reduce the number of unemployed people
. Moreover
, it also
can reduce the number of crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
too
.
In conclusion, Rephrase
apply
the
unemployment and the increasing Correct article usage
apply
the
number of Correct article usage
apply
crime
are the profound Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
problems
people
live
in big cities must face. The most Correct pronoun usage
who live
possitive
solution I think that can solve these Correct your spelling
positive
problems
is the goverment
must take more action to improve Correct your spelling
government
people
's life
.Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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Task Response
Make sure to address all parts of the prompt and provide a clear response to the question. In this essay, you focused on two problems faced by people living in large cities, but you could have provided a more comprehensive analysis of the range of problems.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear overall structure and logical progression of ideas. However, the introduction and conclusion could have been stronger. In the introduction, you briefly mentioned the problems but did not provide a clear overview of what would be discussed in the essay. In the conclusion, you restated your main solution but did not provide a summary of the main points discussed.
Lexical Resource
Your use of vocabulary is generally appropriate, but there is room for improvement. Try to vary your word choices and use more advanced vocabulary to demonstrate a wider range of lexical resources. Additionally, be careful with word usage and sentence structure to ensure clarity.
Grammatical Range
While your essay shows a good control of grammar and sentence structure, there are some errors and awkward phrasings. Proofread your essay carefully and pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and sentence structure to enhance your grammatical range.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.