IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

People who live in large cities face a range of problems in their daily life What are the most significant of these problems? How can these problems be tackled

#people #cities #face #range #life
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In urban areas,
people
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 are living with many difficult
problems
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everyday
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every day
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. The root cause for
this
Linking Words
 is
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environment
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environmental
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pollutions
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pollution
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 and lack of
accomodations
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accommodations
accommodation
, yet it can be solved by
government
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the government
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encourage
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encouraging
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 citizens to protect
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environment
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the environment
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,
as well as
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spread
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spreading
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 more spaces
forn
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for
human
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humans
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 to live
.
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in.
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 The
princpal
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principal
 cause of
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environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
pollutions
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pollution
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influence
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influences
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at
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apply
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human's
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human
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 daily
life
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. It can be seen that poisonous emissions are exhausted to the
environment
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 from industrial factories and vehicles, causing air pollution or water pollution. If
people
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 live in contaminated air, it may affect
to
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apply
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their health significantly
by
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with
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 lung cancer
respiratory
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and respiratory
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 system
problem
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problems
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.
For instance
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, in
Vietnam
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Vietnam,
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 the rate of
people
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died
Wrong verb form
dying
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by
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of
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 lung cancer is very high because of living in
polluted
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a polluted
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 atmosphere
a
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for a
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long time. Another factor may not be enough places for
human
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humans
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 to live.
In other words
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, today the population in big cities is increasing considerably, but the cities have many buildings, skyscrapers and industrial areas so
that
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apply
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many poor
people
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 may not have money to buy houses.
Consequently
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, the rate of homeless
people
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 is increasing and more
people
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 turn into criminals, so it will affect
to
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apply
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the quality
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life
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of life
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 of citizens.
For instance
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, in some developing countries, the government only focus on the growth of
economy
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the economy
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 and industrialisation, so they use any spaces to set up a lot of industrial areas and tourist attractions. To solve these
problems
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, the best
possitive
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positive
 solution
i
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I
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 think that
government
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the government
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 must take more action to improve
people
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's
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. They can have more work
policy
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policies
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 to help everyone
can
Verb problem
apply
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have
job
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jobs
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 to maintain their
life
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 to reduce the number of unemployed
people
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.
Moreover
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, it
also
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 can reduce the number of
crime
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crimes
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too
Rephrase
apply
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. In conclusion,
the
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apply
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unemployment and the increasing
the
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apply
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number of
crime
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crimes
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 are the profound
problems
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people
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live
Correct pronoun usage
who live
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 in big cities must face. The most
possitive
Correct your spelling
positive
 solution I think that can solve these
problems
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 is the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 must take more action to improve
people
Use synonyms
's
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
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Task Response
Make sure to address all parts of the prompt and provide a clear response to the question. In this essay, you focused on two problems faced by people living in large cities, but you could have provided a more comprehensive analysis of the range of problems.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear overall structure and logical progression of ideas. However, the introduction and conclusion could have been stronger. In the introduction, you briefly mentioned the problems but did not provide a clear overview of what would be discussed in the essay. In the conclusion, you restated your main solution but did not provide a summary of the main points discussed.
Lexical Resource
Your use of vocabulary is generally appropriate, but there is room for improvement. Try to vary your word choices and use more advanced vocabulary to demonstrate a wider range of lexical resources. Additionally, be careful with word usage and sentence structure to ensure clarity.
Grammatical Range
While your essay shows a good control of grammar and sentence structure, there are some errors and awkward phrasings. Proofread your essay carefully and pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and sentence structure to enhance your grammatical range.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • metropolis
  • commute
  • public transportation
  • gridlock
  • air pollution
  • noise pollution
  • expensive housing
  • exorbitant prices
  • work-life balance
  • recreation areas
  • parks and gardens
  • criminal activities
  • security measures
  • density
  • neighborhood
  • public amenities
  • healthcare facilities
  • educational institutions
What to do next:
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