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Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagram below shows the process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make the comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make the comparisons where relevant.
#process #bricks #industry #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The procedure of brick production is
illusterated
Correct your spelling
illustrated
 which is used in building construction.
Overall
Linking Words
, elaborately does the whole operation
is consisted
Wrong verb form
consists
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 of seven stages
involved
Wrong verb form
involving
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 three main
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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; digging, processing and delivering. First of all,as the first step the clay is diggied from the ground by a digger; in the following, a metal grid which is just above the roller,
seperates
Correct your spelling
separates
this
Linking Words
 clay before mixing
with
Correct pronoun usage
it with
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 water and salt. After that, in order to
shaping
Change the verb
shape
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 them to create bricks, the producer uses a wire cutter or a mould. In the next stage, bricks must be dried
into
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in
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 an oven
at
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for at
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 least 24 hours, but not more than two days. Regarding the final stage of production, bricks are put in
kiln
Add an article
a kiln
the kiln
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 with the
intial
Correct your spelling
initial
temepreture
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temperature
temperatures
 around 200C; but, its
temeperatue
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temperature
 gradually increases up to 1300C. after spending two or three days in
cooling
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the cooling
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 chamber, they are ready to be packed and
delevered
Correct your spelling
delivered
 to the customers by trucks.
Submitted by n97.mortazian on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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