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Band 3.5

Aircraft have been increasingly used to transport fruits and vegetables to some countries where such plants hardly grew or are out of season. Some people consider it a good idea, but some people oppose it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#aircraft #transport #fruits #vegetables #countries #plants #season #people #idea
It is believed by some
people
 that
fruits
 and
vegetables
 might be carried to some
countries
 in which plants hardly grew or were not planted that fix with the process of
season
Add an article
the season
show examples
 by the state-of-the-art aircraft,
while
 some
people
 think it is not a good idea to do that. I have a mixed opinion, and in
this
 essay, I will discuss both sides. It must be recognized that
fruits
 and
vegetables
 should be carried to some
countries
 that have bad weather.
This
 is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
 in some of that
countries
 are dealing with the destruction by insects.
As a result
, when the harvest
come
Wrong verb form
came
show examples
, farmers did not have enough
fruits
 and
vegetables
 to use.
Therefore
, it is easy to understand why aircraft have been increasingly used to transport
fruits
 and
vegetables
 to some of
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
countries
.
However
, some
people
 say that it is not a good idea to transport
fruits
 and
vegetables
.
This
 belief is based on the
not up to standard
Add a hyphen
not-up-to-standard
show examples
fruits
 or
vegetables
.
For
this
 reason, when
people
 use it, it will have a negative effect on their health.
This
 point may be true, but they still need
fruits
 and
vegetables
 to survive. In conclusion, aircraft should be used to transport
fruits
 and
vegetables
 to some poor
countries
 where have bad weather.
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task response
Your essay does address the task by discussing both views and providing your opinion. However, the ideas could be more developed and supported.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is generally good. However, make sure to provide more elaboration and examples to support your main points.
lexical resource
Your lexical resource is sufficient, but there are several word choices and expressions that could be improved for clarity and accuracy.
grammatical range
Your grammatical range is acceptable, but there are some errors in sentence structure, verb tense, and word order that need to be corrected.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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