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Writing Samples
Band 7

This graph shows the proportion of four different materials that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, making comparisons where relevant.

This graph shows the proportion of four different materials that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, making comparisons where relevant.
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The chart gives
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about the recycling percentage for four different kinds of
materials
Use synonyms
 in one specific country during the period of 18 years, commencing from 1982. It is clear from the graph that the recycling rate of both paper and glass
materials
Use synonyms
 saw a
fluctuated
Replace the word
fluctuating
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 trend from the year 1982
while
Linking Words
 the other two types of aluminium cans and plastic only observed
their
Change the word
an
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 upward trend from 1986 and 1990 respectively. The recycling proportion of both paper-made products and glass containers varied until they saw a rise in 1990
then
Linking Words
 they started to have opposite trends.
Although
Linking Words
 the rate
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 reprocessing paper and cardboard
materials
Use synonyms
 declined moderately to 70% until 2010, it was still higher than the percentage of glass products by 10%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the rate of reused cans made by aluminium increased significantly from only 5% in 1986 to more than 45% in 2010
while
Linking Words
plastics
Change the noun form
plastic
show examples
materials
Use synonyms
 observed minimal growth during the years before it reached its peak at nearly 10%
at the end
Linking Words
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words materials with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
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