Millions of dollars are spent on space research evey year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

There is no denying the fact that millions of dollars are spent on space exploration.
While
it is a commonly held belief that the
government
should improve living standards
instead
of spending on space research, there is
also
an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that the
government
must enhance the living standards on the earth.
To begin
with, space exploration is a waste of time, effort and money.
In other words
, a lot of
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
that conducted by many countries and they spent millions of dollars on it, and
finally
they did not find anything.
In addition
, they look for another place to be
suitable
Add an article
a suitable
the suitable
show examples
place for people
instead
of the earth.
For example
,
a Saudi
Correct the article-noun agreement
Saudi famous experts
a Saudi famous expert
show examples
famous
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
experts went to another planet in 2016 and he did not find any place, and there
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
no gravity on it. Another point to consider, the
government
should spend
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
crucial sectors. It is
also
possible to say that they should develop
educational's
Change noun form
educational
show examples
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
and
engaged
Wrong verb form
engage
show examples
technology in it to ensure
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
its success.
Moreover
, they should invest in hospitals and make it free for all citizens.
For instance
, if the
government
invest in their internal sectors,
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
citizens will not need to go abroad
for studying
Change preposition
to study
show examples
or
treating
Wrong verb form
receive treatment
show examples
. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I tend to believe that the authority should invest in sectors that will return to citizens,
such
as
educational
Replace the word
education
show examples
, health,
transportation
Correct word choice
and transportation
show examples
.
Submitted by fatemah221027 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is focused on a single main idea and that ideas are logically organized.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize the main points of the essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use a wider range of words and phrases.
grammatical range
Work on your sentence structure and grammar to ensure accuracy and variety.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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