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Band 5

People aim to achieve a balance between their work and lives, but few people achieve it. What are the causes of this problem? How to overcome it?

#people #aim #balance #work #lives
Making a
balance
 between professional
life
 and personal
life
 is very significant to become happy. Most of the individuals can not make a
balance
 between
life
 and
work
due to
 various reasons.
This
 essay intends to
findout
Correct your spelling
find out
 reasons behind
this
 and to find suitable solutions. There are numerous factors behind
this
problem
. First of all, the most important reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
problem
 is long
time
 working hours.
As well as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 frequent
over-
Correct your spelling
overtime
show examples
time
 and high stress
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
work
 are
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 significant causes of imbalance between
work
 and
life
.
For instance
, people who have to
work
 long hours in the company, can not get enough
time
 and energy
for spending
Change preposition
to spend
show examples
time
 with their
familiy
Correct your spelling
family
 and relaxation.
Secondly
, the job which is rigid or less flexible for people
also
suffer
Change the verb form
suffers
show examples
this
problem
. Like
for example
, a nurse
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to
present
Add a missing verb
be present
show examples
 in their workplace,
this
 job
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not allow
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
remote so they get less
time
 to spend with their families and relatives.
In addition
, people who can not manage their
time
 effectively, make it hard to allocate
time
 for their personal
life
 and enjoyment.
Furthermore
, technology plays an important role
to create
Change preposition
in creating
show examples
this
problem
. Mobile and internet users spend a huge
time
 on it which
also
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
 a barrier to
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 a
balance
 between their
life
 and
work
. It is crucial to overcome
this
problem
 for the
batterment
Correct your spelling
betterment
 of leading
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
 and happy
life
.
Overcomming
Correct your spelling
Overcoming
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 challenges
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
show examples
combination
Add an article
a combination
show examples
 of strategies and commitments to making positive change in our
life
 and professional career.
For example
, it is needed to achieve proper
time
 management strategies and
creating
Wrong verb form
create
show examples
 a boundary between
work
 and
life
 so that one can maintain their
life
 and
work
 effectively.
As well as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they
also
 need to acquire
self control
Add a hyphen
self-control
show examples
 strategies which will help to create
balance
Add an article
a balance
show examples
 between
life
 and
work
. To summarise,
acheiving
Correct your spelling
achieving
work
Add a hyphen
work-life
show examples
life
balance
 requires
self awareness
Add a hyphen
self-awareness
show examples
,
time
 management and clear boundaries. It is significant to understand the factors that might be controlling
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and take steps in order to lead a
healther
Correct your spelling
healthier
 and more
fulfilng
Correct your spelling
fulfilling
life
.
Submitted by sakhayathossenkiron38 on

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Task Response
Make sure to fully address all aspects of the given task in your essay. The essay could have provided more specific examples to support the analysis.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay demonstrates a generally logical structure and coherence. However, some paragraphs could have been better connected.
Lexical Resource
The essay has a good range of vocabulary and uses appropriate language to convey ideas. Try to vary sentence structures more for better grammatical range.
Grammatical Range
The essay shows a good control of grammar and few errors are present. However, try to use more complex sentence structures and avoid repetition.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Work-life balance: the equilibrium between one's job responsibilities and personal life.
  • Overwork: working too hard or for excessive amounts of time.
  • Remote work: working from a location other than the central work office, often from home.
  • Flexible working hours: work hours that are adaptable to suit an employee's needs.
  • Commuting: traveling between one's home and workplace.
  • Digital technology: electronic tools and systems used to generate, store, and process data, often leading to increased connectivity.
  • Disconnect: to detach from technology or work communications, often to establish boundaries.
  • Time management: the ability to use one's time effectively or productively.
  • Prioritize: to determine the order for dealing with tasks according to their importance.
  • Employer support: programs or practices employed by an organization to assist employees in managing work and personal roles.
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