An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Nowadays, numerous people

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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love to have

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

plastic surgery in order to upgrade their appearance in an instant way have risen. Some people have argued about

this

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issue, and in

this

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essay

Add a comma

essay,

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I will explain why I think

this

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is a good movement.

To begin

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with, we cannot be against the fact that we live in a society where looks are one of the crucial things.

This

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phenomenon pushes some folk to explore and improve their looks, mostly because of their insecurities, mainly

choose

Wrong verb form

choosing

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face

Use synonyms

surgery as the way.

For instance

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, in South Korea, their citizens have a culture where ‘

face

Use synonyms

operation’ is a must for a person who was not born gorgeous,

this

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happened because of their beauty standard.

Furthermore

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, If you are not beautiful or handsome, you will automatically get bullied because of your looks, both in

face

Use synonyms

and body.

That is

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why society in South Korea extremely supports

face

Use synonyms

and body operation, they believe everybody has rights and hope to be reborn.

Besides

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the social pressure, work obligations are

also

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another reason why many societies consider changing their physical appearance through a medical way.

For example

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

artists and actors in Thailand have generally done it at the request of the client and their agency, mostly saying that makeup cannot change or cover scars and pores.

Moreover

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face

Use synonyms

surgery’s result can make the human look unreal, suitable for the entertainment industry. In a nutshell, changing appearance through surgery is a beneficial development for a lot of communities.

This

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can improve someone’s confidence

as well as

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for commercial reasons.

zefanyagyuWed Nov 01 2023

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task response

Make sure you fully address the prompt and provide a clear position on whether you think the increasing number of people choosing cosmetic surgery is a positive or negative development.

coherence cohesion

Organize your ideas more logically. Consider using a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion to enhance the coherence of your essay.

lexical resource

Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and varied words to enhance the lexical resource of your essay.

grammatical range

Pay attention to your sentence structures and aim for more complex constructions to improve the grammatical range of your essay.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Crime rates will fall is advance in technology, make it easier to detect and prevent crime to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Climate change has become a serious problem for mankind. What are the causes and effects of it?

In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion