An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #surgery #appearance #operations #change #development

Nowadays, numerous people

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

love to have

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

plastic surgery in order to upgrade their appearance in an instant way have risen. Some people have argued about

this

issue, and in

this

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

I will explain why I think

this

is a good movement.

To begin

with, we cannot be against the fact that we live in a society where looks are one of the crucial things.

This

phenomenon pushes some folk to explore and improve their looks, mostly because of their insecurities, mainly

choose

Wrong verb form

choosing

show examples

face

surgery as the way.

For instance

, in South Korea, their citizens have a culture where ‘

face

operation’ is a must for a person who was not born gorgeous,

this

happened because of their beauty standard.

Furthermore

, If you are not beautiful or handsome, you will automatically get bullied because of your looks, both in

face

and body.

That is

why society in South Korea extremely supports

face

and body operation, they believe everybody has rights and hope to be reborn.

Besides

the social pressure, work obligations are

also

another reason why many societies consider changing their physical appearance through a medical way.

For example

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

artists and actors in Thailand have generally done it at the request of the client and their agency, mostly saying that makeup cannot change or cover scars and pores.

Moreover

face

surgery’s result can make the human look unreal, suitable for the entertainment industry. In a nutshell, changing appearance through surgery is a beneficial development for a lot of communities.

This

can improve someone’s confidence

as well as

for commercial reasons.

Submitted by zefanyagyu on Wed Nov 01 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Make sure you fully address the prompt and provide a clear position on whether you think the increasing number of people choosing cosmetic surgery is a positive or negative development.

coherence cohesion

Organize your ideas more logically. Consider using a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion to enhance the coherence of your essay.

lexical resource

Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and varied words to enhance the lexical resource of your essay.

grammatical range

Pay attention to your sentence structures and aim for more complex constructions to improve the grammatical range of your essay.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

262 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
You have been asked to organise a special dinner to celebrate your company’s achievements this year. Write a letter to the restaurant you have chosen. In your letter say why you want to come to the restaurant and when how many people will attend the dinner what special requirements you have You should write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam, You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
I am writing to you because I want to organise a special dinner so I would appreciate your help and further communication.
7
band
Innovation is often driven by the pursuit of profit and economic growth . However , some argue that it should prioritize addressing social and environmental issues . Discuss both sides and give your own opinion
In the contemporary era, there is a common controversy among individuals as to whether revenue and economic proliferation are deemed the main contributors to innovative advancement or whether people should concentrate on alleviating social and environmental issues in order to pave the way for progress in the future. This essay will discuss both viewpoints and shed light on my own perspective.
5
band
Nowadays many people have Access to computers on a wide basis and large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done minimize bad effects?
These days, computer is can be accessed so easy for many people and especially children can access to computer and they play games from computer. In this case some problems arise. This issue will be discussed in this essay along with some possible solutions that may be implemented to alleviate the problem.
5
band
he tendency of news reporters in the media to focus more on problems and emergencies than on positive developments is harmful to the individuals and the society as a whole. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
It is claimed that media are more likely to concentrate on reporting news that contain emergency and negative information but not the positive ones about modernization is dangerous for the society and people. This writer argue that individual should know about negative news in order to raise awareness but will not lead to any harmful consequences because of the media’s notification.
6
band
More and more people and organizations are using digital technology for contact with other people. What are the advantages and disadvantages of using digital technology for communication?
In recent years, the implementation of digital technology had a great influence on people's lives. A lot of people prefer to use electronic dealing over real contact with people. In this essay, I will express both favourable and non-favourable features.

An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Innovation is often driven by the pursuit of profit and economic growth . However , some argue that it should prioritize addressing social and environmental issues . Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

Nowadays many people have Access to computers on a wide basis and large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done minimize bad effects?

he tendency of news reporters in the media to focus more on problems and emergencies than on positive developments is harmful to the individuals and the society as a whole. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

More and more people and organizations are using digital technology for contact with other people. What are the advantages and disadvantages of using digital technology for communication?