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Band 5.5

Some people think individuals are more and more dependent on each other. Some people think individuals are more and more independent. Discuss and give your opinion.

#people #individuals
We are living in a fast-changing world, and our lives are totally different from the ones a couple of decades ago. Many believe that it is of great
benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
show examples
 to live alone,
while
 others think they need
friends
 and family to accompany them.
This
 essay will discuss both arguments in depth, and provide personal options.
To begin
 with, when people grow up, they will become more and more busy. They may not have spare time to communicate with their
friends
 and family.
Nevertheless
, talking to other people plays a crucial role in our lives.
In other words
, without expressing their emotion, loneliness would lead people to
feeling
Change the verb form
feel
show examples
 tired and anxious.
For example
, I face a lot of difficulties in my work, when I tell my
friends
 they will give me some useful suggestions and encourage me to overcome adversity.
Therefore
, I can get a great deal of emotional support.
On the other hand
, with the development of science and technology. There are more and more things that we can finish by ourselves.
This
 means
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 we do not need to turn to our family or
friends
 for help. To elaborate, when we break down something in my home, it is not necessary to ask parents how to fix it, We just need to search
information
Change preposition
for information
show examples
 on the Internet. There is enough experience online which
contribute
Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
show examples
 to
repair
Wrong verb form
repairing
show examples
 it. In conclusion,
although
 technology is beneficial for independence, we
also
 need
dependent
Wrong verb form
to depend
show examples
 on each other. As far as I am concerned, reliance is able to improve our happiness.
Submitted by 1550018584 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and is organized logically.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to include a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize your main points.
coherence cohesion
Provide more detailed examples and explanations to support your arguments.
task achievement
Address all aspects of the prompt and ensure your ideas are relevant and clear.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas and provide more nuanced explanations.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structures and use a variety of sentence types.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • interconnected
  • globalization
  • remote work
  • independence
  • dependency
  • specialization
  • professional services
  • social validation
  • individualism
  • self-reliance
  • collective action
  • sustainability
  • global community
  • navigating
  • complexity
  • environmental movement
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