Some people prefer to shop in supermarkets, while others like shopping online. Discuss both views and give your opinion

As technology become advanced, many
people
choose shopping by online,
while
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others still go to the
supermarket
for buying
Change preposition
to buy
show examples
groceries
. Despite each view's stance, it is apparent that both have their own reasons and benefits.
Nowaday
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
show examples
, most of the working
people
do not have
time
to go to the
supermarket
and prefer shopping online. Buying
groceries
online has some advantages
such
as cheaper
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
. We can compare each
shops
Change to a singular noun
shop
show examples
to make sure get cheaper
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
than usual.
Besides
,
online
Add an article
the online
show examples
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
usually
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
free delivery
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
and
discount
Fix the agreement mistake
discounts
show examples
hence
it makes
save
Change the form of the verb
saving
show examples
money
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
.
However
,
shop
Wrong verb form
shopping
show examples
online
also
has some disadvantages. One of them is the item that we buy may get broken in the delivery and do not meet our expectation.
Besides
, if we want to buy
vegetable
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetables
show examples
or fruit, it is
imposible
Correct your spelling
impossible
to choose the best item
hence
sometimes we get rotten
stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
.
On the other hand
, conventional
people
will prefer
buy
Fix the infinitive
to buy
show examples
groceries
in the
supermarket
because they can choose items by themself.
This
way will make them
satified
Correct your spelling
satisfied
with the good's quality.
Moreover
, they can get
item
Add an article
the item
show examples
immediately because there is no delivery
time
needed.
In contrast
, buying
groceries
offline will be more expensive than online, because it costs money to do operational things
such
as rent the building. In short,
decision
Add an article
the decision
a decision
show examples
between
shop
in the
supermarket
or
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
online
depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
on
people
's need. If they do not have
time
,
then
shop
Wrong verb form
shopping
show examples
online is the solution.
Conversely
,
shop
Wrong verb form
shopping
show examples
in the
supermarket
is the best way for
people
who need stuff immediately. In my opinion, I prefer
shop
Add the particle
to shop
show examples
online
due to
I have no free
time
and the price is cheaper than
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
in the
supermarket
.
Submitted by kucinglab on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make sure to address both views in a balanced manner throughout the essay. Provide clear reasons and examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally good. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. Consider using more transitional phrases to connect your ideas and paragraphs more effectively.
lexical resource
Your vocabulary choices are generally appropriate, but try to incorporate more varied and sophisticated vocabulary to enhance the quality of your writing.
grammatical range
Overall, your grammatical range is good with few errors. However, be cautious of sentence structure and ensure subject-verb agreement and correct use of verb tenses.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • variety
  • physical interaction
  • immediate gratification
  • bargains
  • crowded
  • queues
  • time-consuming
  • delivery
  • returns
  • cost-effective
  • secure
  • trustworthy
  • virtual
  • user-friendly
What to do next:
Look at other essays: