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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002.

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002.
#minutes #billions #telephone #uk #three #categories
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The bar chart illustrates
that
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how much time (in billions) British people spent each year on calling through three different call types, over a 7-year period.
Overall
Linking Words
, the most popular call
line
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 category among citizens in the UK was local-fixed and the second most popular one was national and international-fixed
line
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.
However
Linking Words
, the use of mobiles increased dramatically in comparison with the falling pattern in the use of local
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line
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lines
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 over the
last
Linking Words
 few years. In 1995, just over 70
billion
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minutes
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 and almost half of
this
Linking Words
 amount were spent on calling through local- and national-fixed call
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line
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lines
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 respectively,
while
Linking Words
 hardly 4
b
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billion
minutes
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 were spent on mobile phones. Over the 4 following years, the popularity of local-fixed
line
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 rose reaching its peak at 90b
minutes
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 and the rising pattern could be seen in two other sectors but on a different scale. By 2002, the figure for mobile
line
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 usage reached about 45
billion
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minutes
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 with about a 30
billion
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 increase since 1999. National- and international-fixed
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line
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lines
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also
Linking Words
 had
also
Linking Words
rose
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risen
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 steadily experiencing around 60b
minutes
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 of calling
this
Linking Words
 year, compared to the falling use of local ones with just over 70
billion
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minutes
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.
Submitted by z.rajabi on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words line, billion, minutes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • total number
  • minutes
  • telephone calls
  • UK
  • divided into
  • categories
  • from
  • to
  • overall
  • increased significantly
  • local fixed-line calls
  • accounted for
  • largest proportion
  • throughout
  • period
  • international calls
  • highest rate of growth
  • experiencing
  • sharp increase
  • national long-distance calls
  • remained relatively stable
  • slight decline
  • towards
  • end
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