The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#process #sugar #cane #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The flow diagram shows the production of

sugar

from

sugar

cane.

Overall

, the production process of

sugar

consits

Correct your spelling

consists

of 7 distinct stages.

Also

, the

sugar

cane is used as the raw material. As shown in the diagram, the production starts with the growing of the

sugar

canes which take about 12-18 months to grow completely. After that, the

growed

Correct your spelling

grown

show examples

sugar

canes

Fix the agreement mistake

cane

show examples

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

harvested in two different ways; by hand and by special trucks.

Then

, the harvested canes are

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

crushed and turned into a kind of juice. In the fourth

stage

Add a comma

stage,

show examples

the produced juice is purified through a filter called

limestone

Correct article usage

a limestone

show examples

filter. The fifth stage starts with evaporating the purified liquid by applying heat which all liquids

became

Wrong verb form

become

show examples

syrup. The next step involves separating the

sugar

crystals from the produced syrup via

centrifuge

Correct article usage

a centrifuge

show examples

in the factory.

Change preposition

show examples

the

last

stage, the

sugar

crystals are dried and cooled and become ready as an end product for consumers.

Submitted by z.rajabi on Wed Nov 01 2023

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

156 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

manufacturing process
sugar cane
harvesting
transporting
factory
crushing
extracting
juice
filtering
impurities
heating
evaporating
syrup
boiling
crystallizing
sugar
separating
drying
packaging
distribution
stage
process

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The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Many employees may work at home with modern technology. Some people claim that it can benefit only the workers, not the employers. Do you agree or disagree?

A lot of places in the world rely on tourist as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not well-managed. what are the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world? do you think that the benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks?

Nowadays, people are able to use the internet to do an increasing number of tasks. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people think that men are naturally more competitive than women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?