The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The flow diagram shows the production of
sugar
from
sugar
cane.
Overall
, the production process of
sugar
consits
Correct your spelling
consists
of 7 distinct stages.
Also
, the
sugar
cane is used as the raw material. As shown in the diagram, the production starts with the growing of the
sugar
canes which take about 12-18 months to grow completely. After that, the
growed
Correct your spelling
grown
show examples
sugar
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
harvested in two different ways; by hand and by special trucks.
Then
, the harvested canes are
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
crushed and turned into a kind of juice. In the fourth
stage
Add a comma
stage,
show examples
the produced juice is purified through a filter called
limestone
Correct article usage
a limestone
show examples
filter. The fifth stage starts with evaporating the purified liquid by applying heat which all liquids
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
syrup. The next step involves separating the
sugar
crystals from the produced syrup via
centrifuge
Correct article usage
a centrifuge
show examples
in the factory.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
the
last
stage, the
sugar
crystals are dried and cooled and become ready as an end product for consumers.
Submitted by z.rajabi on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufacturing process
  • sugar cane
  • harvesting
  • transporting
  • factory
  • crushing
  • extracting
  • juice
  • filtering
  • impurities
  • heating
  • evaporating
  • syrup
  • boiling
  • crystallizing
  • sugar
  • separating
  • drying
  • packaging
  • distribution
  • stage
  • process
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