In many contries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that this the responsibility of governments to solve the problem. What extent do you agree or disagree?

#contries #children #people #responsibility #governments

Nowadays,

technology

plays a vital role in our daily life, it helps us in every aspect of life

such

as education, social management, and business. There are some people who say that

automation

has a negative impact on society rather than actually helping solve problems.

Although

I agree that it causes a lot of obstacles, I think if we knew how to use it properly, it would not be a matter. Using

technology

improperly can cause several dilemmas.

First,

relying totally on automatic approaches to solving issues can make people less creative,

For example

, when a math problem is solved by using artificial intelligence, the solution is usually correct but it may be a very long answer

while

thinking about how to solve the problem by ourselves can lead to not only a shorter answer but

also

a brighter mind.

Besides

, letting children overuse smartphones will have a negative effect on education.

Firstly

, spending too much time playing video games will result in less time on studying, which will lower educational performance. The lack of jobs

also

is a problem of the overuse of

automation

such

as, many builders in Japan using

automation

engineering to transfer humans to reduce costs and increase productivity.

On the other hand

automation

helps improve our lives in many aspects. Using online tools to manage the business’s finances has made life much easier for managers

also

accountants.

For instance

, using Excel can do cost and profit calculations instantly.

Furthermore

, students can now have the opportunity to study at their own homes by accessing online lectures, which saves plenty of transportation costs for the students and teachers.

Technology

can reduce education costs and

convenient

Add a missing verb

be convenient

show examples

for studies. In 2019 we faced with pandemic at that moment we just stayed at home.

As a result

, schools have plans to teach students on screens like using smartphones, and laptops or they can learn on TV. In conclusion,

although

machinery may bring some unexpected impacts on us, using

technology

for the right purpose will help our lives become easier.

Submitted by gipphi147 on Wed Nov 01 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Include a clear thesis statement in your introduction to clearly state your position.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and use appropriate transition words to create a cohesive flow.

lexical resource

Expand your range of vocabulary by using more precise and varied words.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to avoid errors and improve clarity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

339 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Childhood obesity
Public health policy
Lifestyle choices
Obesity rates
Health education campaigns
Physical education
Dietary habits
Socio-economic disparities
Preventive measures
Multinational corporations
Health-conscious initiatives
Recreational facilities
Collaborative approach
Healthcare providers
Body mass index (BMI)

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Write a letter to the manager of a cinema (movie theatre) about a jacket you have left behind after a film. In your letter: Describe the jacket Describe where you were seated Explain what you want to be done
I am writing this letter to bring into your attention that I have accidently left my jacket at the "Cineplex Halls" located in the Brampton city, which is under your supervision. It was an "Old Navy" made jacket, brown coloured and has some grafitti design printes on the back.
7
band
At the present time, populations of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages whats ypur opinion?
Currently, statistics show that several countries have larger adolescent populations than elderly ones. While there are some disadvantages to having a predominantly young population, I believe that the advantages far outweigh the drawbacks.
7.5
band
A friend wants to get some information about an elementary school where one of your cousins studies. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter, •say why this school is a good elementary school •mention how expensive it is • explain why your friend should get his/her child admitted there
I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing in response to your inquiry last week, about Abest primary school which Ebenezer my cousin currently attends. One benefit of enrolling your son there is that they have professional teachers, however, it is quite costly. They would help nurture any potential skills your child has.
4.5
band
Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment in essential to control violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Opinions on the death penalty, which has ben widely applied throughout history, have shown a significant change with the development and progress of societies. While the execution was imposed on many criminal acts in the past, today this punishment has been removed from the laws in many countries, especially in European countries. In my view, the death penalty can be imposed for some serious offences, but not for all. In this essay, I will explain this view with examples.
4.5
band
In some places, money earned from tourism has become an important part of the economy. What are the advantages and disadvantages of replying on tourism as a major source of revenue.
Tourism become a splendid source for a country to boost up its economic growth.However, there are normally lot of tourists gathering on historical and other places that contribute their money to that nation where they are spending it while this concern have its drawbacks also. In this eassy , i will going to put a shadow on both merits and demerits regard to this statement along with logical conclusion.

In many contries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that this the responsibility of governments to solve the problem. What extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Write a letter to the manager of a cinema (movie theatre) about a jacket you have left behind after a film. In your letter: Describe the jacket Describe where you were seated Explain what you want to be done

At the present time, populations of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages whats ypur opinion?

A friend wants to get some information about an elementary school where one of your cousins studies. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter, •say why this school is a good elementary school •mention how expensive it is • explain why your friend should get his/her child admitted there

Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment in essential to control violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In some places, money earned from tourism has become an important part of the economy. What are the advantages and disadvantages of replying on tourism as a major source of revenue.