IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Millions off dollars arre spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standard on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

#millions #dollars #arre #space #research #year #people #money #earth
Nowadays ,
space
Correct article usage
the space
show examples
 industry is being invested by the
government
 with millions of dollars for exploration .
In contrast
 , some people think that the
money
 should be used for improving living
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
 on
Earth
 .
This
 writer argues that the
money
 should be used to explore the
space
 . It is vital to understand that , the n
Correct article usage
The umber
show examples
umber
Correct your spelling
number
show examples
 of residents on
Earth
 is increasing
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a extreme speed , and
due to
 that reason , finding a place to live is harder and unaffordable .
For example
, each year many countries are destroyed by floods,
hurricanes
Correct word choice
and hurricanes
show examples
.
Therefore
money
 needs to be offset for them and rehabilitate back original.
On the other hand
, the world's population increasingly rising now in the planet.
Therefore
 scientists started highlighting the need to find new land, which is a place for humans to live on the planet.
Moreover
, global warming has caused living
getting
Change the verb form
to get
show examples
worsed
Correct your spelling
worse
 every year. The
earth
's ozone layer is
also
 in a state of being punctured, the sun will turn the
earth
 into a meteorite one day. The
government
 and scientists invest a lot of
money
 in
space
 exploration to find a habitable planet similar to
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
 and they will give people a new better life. In conclusion, I strongly agree with the statement that the
government
 should spend
money
 to discover universes. The
government
 sees that situation, they can predict
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the future and they worry about the lives of their people so they use a lot of
money
 to invest in
space
.
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task response
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents your stance on the topic. In this essay, you state that the money should be used to explore space, but it is not clearly mentioned in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the coherence and cohesion by organizing your ideas in a logical manner. Some of the ideas in the essay are disconnected and need to be better connected to the main argument.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to make your essay more sophisticated. Use synonyms and a variety of sentence structures to convey your ideas.
grammatical range
Work on the accuracy of your grammar by paying attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and sentence structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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