IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The movements of people from the villages to the cities for work has caused a lots of problems in both places. What are the serious problems associated with this? What measures can be taken to solve these problems?

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In
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
show examples
 world majority of the population
living
Wrong verb form
lives
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 in the
cities
Use synonyms
. Despite
the
Correct article usage
apply
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knowing the number is getting bigger
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 living in the
cities
Use synonyms
 moving from villages to the centers
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
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massive trouble.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine the main
causes
Use synonyms
 of living in a
city
Use synonyms
 and came from
suburb
Fix the agreement mistake
suburbs
show examples
 and possible solutions to
this
Linking Words
 problem. The two main
causes
Use synonyms
 of humans
goes
Wrong verb form
going
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 to the
cities
Use synonyms
 for working are traffic jams and makes
people
Use synonyms
 nervous. When jobseekers start to live in a big
city
Use synonyms
 brings lots of
problems
Use synonyms
. When everyone tries to arrive
their
Change preposition
at their
show examples
 workplace at the same
time
Use synonyms
 it makes roads more crowded.
For example
Linking Words
, most of the population
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
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 public transportation during the day and at certain times there is a possibility
to
Change preposition
of
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 not
find
Wrong verb form
finding
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 a seat
in
Change preposition
on
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 the trams or metros.
Also
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,
generally
Add a comma
generally,
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 social activities
such
Linking Words
 as concerts,
theaters
Correct word choice
and theaters
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has
Change the verb form
have
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 limited tickets and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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gets
Correct subject-verb agreement
get
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 sold out as soon as possible. The
problems
Use synonyms
 because of the crowdness
makes
Change the verb form
make
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people
Use synonyms
 angry.
While
Linking Words
try
Wrong verb form
trying
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 to
going
Change the verb
go
show examples
home
Use synonyms
 after
the
Correct article usage
apply
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work employees get stuck in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
traffic and it
is consuming
Wrong verb form
consumes
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 their free
time
Use synonyms
. In order to
that
Add a missing verb
do that
show examples
, it
causes
Use synonyms
less
Correct article usage
a less
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 creative society in the long run. Spending
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
free
time
Use synonyms
 on the road to the way
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
home
Use synonyms
 individuals become less energetic and
wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want
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 to lie for the rest of the day.
Thus
Linking Words
, living in
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
city
Use synonyms
often
Add a missing verb
is often
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 hard for
people
Use synonyms
 and
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
 massive
problems
Use synonyms
. Some possible solutions to
this
Linking Words
Use synonyms
problems
Fix the agreement mistake
problem
show examples
 are
offers
Wrong verb form
offering
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a remote jobs
Correct the article-noun agreement
remote jobs
a remote job
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 and
promote
Wrong verb form
promoting
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 village life among
people
Use synonyms
. Especially developments in technology
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
possible
Correct pronoun usage
it possible
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 for
people
Use synonyms
 to work from
home
Use synonyms
. By working from
home
Use synonyms
 we can reduce the
consuming
Replace the word
consumption
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time
Use synonyms
 from traffic and make
investment
Fix the agreement mistake
investments
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
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 more social activities.
According to
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this
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, we need to encourage recruiters to give a chance to employees does not have to come office every
week days
Correct your spelling
weekdays
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.
This
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 way,
people
Use synonyms
 will be more happy and motivated
while
Linking Words
 working.
To conclude
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,
people
Use synonyms
's moving to
cities
Use synonyms
 from sub-urban areas creates difficulties.
However
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, we significantly lessen the
problems
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
causes
Wrong verb form
caused
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because
Change preposition
by
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 of who move
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
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work in a
city
Use synonyms
 by promoting remote jobs and
enlighthening
Correct your spelling
enlightening
 recruiters about
this
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 problem.

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout your essay. Use appropriate paragraphing to organize your ideas effectively.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary range by using a wider variety of words and idiomatic expressions. This will enhance the sophistication of your writing.
grammatical range
Pay attention to your grammar in order to improve the overall accuracy of your writing. Review complex sentence structures and ensure agreement between subjects and verbs.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Migration
  • Urbanization
  • Rural-urban divide
  • Dwindling opportunities
  • Socio-economic disparities
  • Infrastructure development
  • Job creation
  • Sustainable development
  • Economic diversification
  • Skills training
  • Cultural assimilation
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