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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the total value of exports and the value of fuel, food and manufactured goods exported by one country from 2000 to 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the total value of exports and the value of fuel, food and manufactured goods exported by one country from 2000 to 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#value #exports #fuel #food #goods #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
These line graph information
Change the determiner
This line graph information
show examples
 about total fule value from 2000 to 2005, and data exported manufactured
goods
, fuel, and food in same
years
 by one country. It is clear from the graph that fuel and manufactured
goods
 decreased, but the food was almost the same.
According to
 what is shown, the file exports in 2000 was 30 million
dollars
.
while
 it was best in 2002 with about 250000.
However
, In 2000, 3 million
dollars
.
while
 it was
loest
Correct your spelling
lost
lowest
 after 2
years
 with about 250000, but in 2005 was
highest
Change the article
the highest
show examples
 value (430000). From 2000 to 2002 the total value was around 5 million.
Then
, was jumped to almost 34000
dollars
.
whereas
, food takes almost similar behaviour to expect in 2001.
Moreover
, manufactured
goods
 in first
years
 was top vale around 48,000.
Then
, it dropped
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
 2 billion
dollars
 after 5
years
.
while
 manufactured
goods
 exports were wave behaviour.
To sum up
, we could say that they do not have the same relationship.
Submitted by taqwaalsakiti on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 79%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words goods, years, dollars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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