IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the total value of exports and the value of fuel, food and manufactured goods exported by one country from 2000 to 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the total value of exports and the value of fuel, food and manufactured goods exported by one country from 2000 to 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#value #exports #fuel #food #goods #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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These line graph information
Change the determiner
This line graph information
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 about total fule value from 2000 to 2005, and data exported manufactured
goods
Use synonyms
, fuel, and food in same
years
Use synonyms
 by one country. It is clear from the graph that fuel and manufactured
goods
Use synonyms
 decreased, but the food was almost the same.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, the file exports in 2000 was 30 million
dollars
Use synonyms
.
while
Linking Words
 it was best in 2002 with about 250000.
However
Linking Words
, In 2000, 3 million
dollars
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.
while
Linking Words
 it was
loest
Correct your spelling
lost
lowest
 after 2
years
Use synonyms
 with about 250000, but in 2005 was
highest
Change the article
the highest
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 value (430000). From 2000 to 2002 the total value was around 5 million.
Then
Linking Words
, was jumped to almost 34000
dollars
Use synonyms
.
whereas
Linking Words
, food takes almost similar behaviour to expect in 2001.
Moreover
Linking Words
, manufactured
goods
Use synonyms
 in first
years
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 was top vale around 48,000.
Then
Linking Words
, it dropped
until
Change preposition
to
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 2 billion
dollars
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 after 5
years
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.
while
Linking Words
 manufactured
goods
Use synonyms
 exports were wave behaviour.
To sum up
Linking Words
, we could say that they do not have the same relationship.
Submitted by taqwaalsakiti on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 79%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words goods, years, dollars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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