New Technology have changes the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?
In
Correct article usage
the modren
modren
era, Correct your spelling
modern
due to
the advancement of technology
most of the Add a comma
technology,
children
spend their free time
on technological sources. I think there are more merits rather than demerits, which will be discussed in upcoming paragraphs.
Elaborating the first school of thought, there are many benefits of offspring spend
their free Wrong verb form
spending
time
on technological gagdets
like mobile phones, laptops and many more, if Correct your spelling
gadgets
children
will spend their time
on these things they can get information about activities. In addition
, because of using technology
in leisure
Correct pronoun usage
their leisure
time
children
become multilingual and they can learn foreign language
at sit their home on mobile Fix the agreement mistake
languages
phone
. Fix the agreement mistake
phones
For example
, in India, 80% students
who become multilingual owing to Change preposition
of students
technology
prefered
to go abroad during past years which resulted in Correct your spelling
preferred
positive
way. Add an article
a positive
As a result
, it will be beneficial dor
their future life.
On the Correct your spelling
for
otherhand
, there are some drawbacks of Correct your spelling
other hand
this
. If children
will
spend Verb problem
apply
free
Correct pronoun usage
their free
time
on technology
they will away
from physical activities. So, it would Add a missing verb
be away
put
Verb problem
have
negative
effect on their health and they will suffer from obesity. Add an article
a negative
Secondly
, if offsprings
spend Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
time
on their mobile phone it will put
Verb problem
apply
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
on
their eyes and it will not Change preposition
apply
becgood
for Correct your spelling
be good
in
their upcoming life.
In conclusion, every coin has two sides, advantages Change preposition
apply
as well as
disadvantages, but I think technology
has more advantages as compared to demerits if children
will
use with Verb problem
apply
right
way.Add an article
the right
Submitted by gsdhillon23595 on
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coherence cohesion
Provide a clear thesis statement in the introduction that directly answers the question.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the main points are adequately supported with relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
Develop a stronger conclusion that summarizes the main points and provides a clear opinion.
task achievement
Address all parts of the prompt and provide a balanced view of both advantages and disadvantages.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and avoid repetitive language.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to avoid errors and improve clarity.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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