In many developing countries, there are major problems with the quality of air and water caused by both industry and construction. What are some of these problems? And what solutions could be provided to prevent this?

People from many developing countries struggle with bad quality of air and water emerged by the plant and construction. There are several things that need to be done
for preventing
Change preposition
to prevent
show examples
this
trouble
to arise
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from arising
show examples
. As
year
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the year
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goes by,
the
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apply
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bussinesses
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businesses
grow quicker and
somewhat
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apply
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there are a few problem that follow
this
massive development.
Within
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With
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the
increases
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increase
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of
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in
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the plant industry, the pollution produced by it
also
rising and somehow several businesses are irresponsible and leave the carbon dioxide as what it is without
take
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taking
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any kind of measure.
Beside
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Besides
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factories that affect the quality of air, there
are
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is
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also
infrastructure construction that
led
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leads
show examples
to building material or any kind of residual
increases
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increase
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.
Moreover
, they throw away
the
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apply
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waste
to
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into
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the river
and
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which
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even
Add a missing verb
are even
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dangerous, it contains toxin and harm the water.
However
, the side
effect
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effects
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of
this
development could be
tackle
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tackled
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by
enactment
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the enactment
an enactment
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of new
regulation
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regulations
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, related to
prevention
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the prevention
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of
environment
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environmental
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destruction. The regulation should focus on
limitation
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the limitation
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of the waste and
to process
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processing
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it before sending
to
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it to
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the sewage or
outdoor
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outdoors
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.
Also
, the government should make sure of law enforcement and have
anually
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annual
checking
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checks
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on those
progresses
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progress
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.
Therefore
, the commercial stakeholders must
have to
Verb problem
apply
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obey the law or else the government should take
a
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apply
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firm
act
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action
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towards those
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who disobeyed
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disobeyed
Wrong verb form
disobey
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.
To sum up
, the air and water in some developing countries might be terrible
due to
rising
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the rise
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of enterprises.
Nevertheless
, the government should take
an
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apply
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immediate action
toward
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against
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these poor conditions and accelerate the regulation enactment of saving
the
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apply
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nature
as well as
the
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apply
show examples
law enforcement.
Submitted by matcha on

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task response
Your essay lacks a clear thesis statement and does not fully address all aspects of the prompt. Make sure to clearly state your position and address both the problems of air and water pollution, as well as the solutions.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of your essay is clear, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the organization of ideas could be improved. Consider using topic sentences to introduce each paragraph and ensure a logical flow of ideas throughout.
lexical resource
Your essay demonstrates a somewhat limited range of vocabulary. Try to use a variety of vocabulary words and phrases, as well as more precise and specific language to convey your ideas.
grammatical range
There are some grammatical errors present in your essay. Pay attention to sentence structure, verb tenses, and subject-verb agreement. Proofread your work thoroughly to ensure grammatical accuracy.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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