IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

People aim to achieve balance between work and other activities of their lives, but few are able to dothis. What are the problems in trying to achieve this goal and how these problems can be overcome? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words

#people #aim #balance #work #activities #lives #dothis
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Many individuals strive to give equal
time
Use synonyms
 to life and
work
Use synonyms
, but it’s a difficult and challenging task. From my perspective, the difficulty of it arises
due to
Linking Words
 the
time
Use synonyms
 cost of modern
work
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, there are many measures
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
 help persons to deal with
this
Linking Words
 problem. A primary reason why
people
Use synonyms
 struggle with
work
Use synonyms
-life balance is that their
work
Use synonyms
 is different from the
work
Use synonyms
 in previous times. Modern
work
Use synonyms
 contains many factors,
for example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 may spend a lot of
time
Use synonyms
 commuting. In Guangzhou, office
staff
Use synonyms
 need at least one and a half hours of travel between company and home. It’s the normal issue that
people
Use synonyms
 who live in the big city face. Through the wider the city range, commuting
time
Use synonyms
 will be increased.
Therefore
Linking Words
, reducing commuting
time
Use synonyms
 is a useful and vital adjustment to help
people
Use synonyms
 attain
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 balance between
work
Use synonyms
 and life. To address
this
Linking Words
 challenge, there is a step to do.
Change
Wrong verb form
Changing
show examples
Use synonyms
work
Correct article usage
the work
show examples
 schedule is a distinguished selection.
For instance
Linking Words
, when the crowd who live in Shenzhen go to
work
Use synonyms
 in the morning, the subway and roads
while
Linking Words
 be very crowded because almost all
staff
Use synonyms
 come to
work
Use synonyms
 workplace in
this
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
, which contributes to
staff
Use synonyms
 needing to spend more
time
Use synonyms
 on transport. If the company rulers can change the routine
time
Use synonyms
, the office workers can avoid the condition. In conclusion, the challenge forces individuals can’t handle the
work
Use synonyms
-life balance of the large commuting
time
Use synonyms
. It can be enhanced by changing the schedule flexibly.
Besides
Linking Words
, the technology of telecommuting has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
matured,
staff
Use synonyms
 can
work
Use synonyms
 at home when the workload
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 not very heavy.
Submitted by kongsifanscnu on

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task response
Make sure to address all parts of the prompt and provide a clear opinion on the difficulty of achieving work-life balance.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical organization of ideas with smooth transitions between paragraphs.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary by using a wider range of synonyms, phrases, and idiomatic expressions.
grammatical range
Improve your grammatical accuracy, especially in sentence structure and verb tense consistency.
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