Nowadays, more and more older people who need employment compete with the younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are the solutions?

#people #employment #jobs

In recent years, there

Wrong verb form

has been

show examples

a job competition between

elderly

Correct article usage

the elderly

show examples

and young generations for the same position.

This

essay will

dicuss

Correct your spelling

discuss

the issue of

this

tendency and show some solutions. Granted, in a world where technology is developing significantly, many companies just recruit a lot of

people

who have knowledge about modern technologies and eliminate workers who do not adapt to the new

condition

Fix the agreement mistake

conditions

show examples

However

, older

people

are as slow and not as well-informed about computers or modern machines as younger

people

As a result

, early retirement among the elderly is increasing and households in which the elderly are the breadwinners face financial difficulties.

Furthermore

, a large number of factories need employees with many years of experience

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

young

people

will be

Verb problem

apply

show examples

threatened by unemployment. Recruiters often appreciate the experience of older candidates,

thus

giving them the edge over younger candidates. Lead to rising criminal activities, for

examples

Fix the agreement mistake

example

show examples

, robberies are occurring

Change preposition

among

show examples

young

people

nowadays. These actions have adverse impacts not only

the

Change preposition

on the

show examples

future of young individuals but

also

the

Change preposition

on the

show examples

safety of the community.

Nevertheless

, these problems will be solved by the

government

. For the first problem, the

government

should open some classes to retain the old employees to provide technical skills. From there, the elderly have many opportunities

in finding

Change preposition

to find

show examples

jobs.

Moreover

, the

government

also

needs to create more job places and should give

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

appropriate laws for internships or only fire employees for serious reasons. If a job market is diversified, both generations will not need to compete with each other. In conclusion, the major consequences of the increasing competition between young and old workers are

lacking

Wrong verb form

the lack

show examples

of jobs,

early

Correct article usage

the early

show examples

retirement of the elderly and

appearing

Verb problem

apply

show examples

many young criminals.

Therefore

, the

government

have to join and apply the above suggestions to decrease these problems.

Submitted by khoiminhnguyen1411 on Thu Nov 02 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within the paragraph support that main idea.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your ideas.

lexical resource

Expand your range of vocabulary. Use more varied and precise vocabulary to express your ideas.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar. Make sure your sentences are grammatically correct and that you use a variety of sentence structures.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

297 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Intergenerational competition
Age discrimination
Adaptability
Hiring practices
Workforce diversity
Upskilling
Lifelong learning
Flexible working arrangements
Ageism
Technological proficiency
Productivity concerns
Diverse skillsets
Legislative protection
Employment equity
Biases

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Nowadays, more and more older people who need employment compete with the younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are the solutions?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some parents think that their children should study in other countries because it has a number of benefits. Others think by studying in other countries, children will face a lot of problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What coulbe be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Although the prices of fuels have greatly increased over the last decade or two, it is argued that further increases in fuel prices are the only way to reduce world consumption of fuel and lesson pressure on worlds fuel resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

*In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. *To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ?