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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows unemployment levels in Ireland and the number of people leaving the country between 1988 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features of the graph, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows unemployment levels in Ireland and the number of people leaving the country between 1988 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features of the graph, and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph gives information about the
unemployment
Use synonyms
 and
emigration
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 in Ireland between 1988 and 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is obvious that
although
Linking Words
 the incidence of
emigration
Use synonyms
 reduced from 1990 to 1998,there was a sharp growth in the
unemployment
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 period.
However
Linking Words
,both categories witnessed a rise between 2004 and 2088.
According to
Linking Words
 1988 and 1998,the
emigration
Use synonyms
 category stood at around 15% in 1988 and the
unemployment
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 accounted for roughly 17%.After two years,there was a considerable decline to 15% and about 13% in terms of
emigration
Use synonyms
 and
unemployment
Use synonyms
 respectively.
However
Linking Words
,the
rate
Use synonyms
 of
unemployment
Use synonyms
 recovered in 1992
while
Linking Words
 the percentage of people who left Ireland reduced sharply to approximately 9%.There was a fluctuation in the
rate
Use synonyms
 of
emigration
Use synonyms
 which was around 7% from 1992 to 1998.
Likewise
Linking Words
,the
rate
Use synonyms
 of unemployed people decreased the the same proportion at the same time. Regarding the period of 1998 to 2008,
although
Linking Words
 the
emigration
Use synonyms
 category saw an oscillation to 2004,the percentage of
unemployment
Use synonyms
 fell dramatically.
In contrast
Linking Words
, there was an increase in both categories between 2004 to 2008.The migration peaked at roughly 15% and
unemployment
Use synonyms
 at about 6%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although, however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words unemployment, emigration, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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