IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
#show #temperatures #hours #sunshine #year #three #cities #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The first line graph shows changes
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the average monthly temperatures in three major cities. The second data shows the total annual
hours
Use synonyms
 of
sunshine
Use synonyms
 in London, New
York
Use synonyms
 and Sydney.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 New
York
Use synonyms
 has the highest
temperature
Use synonyms
 during summer and the lowest during winter. New
York
Use synonyms
's
temperature
Use synonyms
influenced
Add a missing verb
is influenced
show examples
 by the annual
hours
Use synonyms
 of
sunshine
Use synonyms
 which is the highest among the other. The first line graph shows changes
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the average monthly temperatures in three major cities. The second data shows the total annual
hours
Use synonyms
 of
sunshine
Use synonyms
 in London, New
York
Use synonyms
 and Sydney.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 New
York
Use synonyms
 has the highest
temperature
Use synonyms
 during summer and the lowest during winter. New
York
Use synonyms
's
temperature
Use synonyms
influenced
Add a missing verb
is influenced
show examples
 by the annual
hours
Use synonyms
 of
sunshine
Use synonyms
 which is the highest among the other. The first line graph shows changes
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the average monthly temperatures in three major cities. The second data shows the total annual
hours
Use synonyms
 of
sunshine
Use synonyms
 in London, New
York
Use synonyms
 and Sydney.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 New
York
Use synonyms
 has the highest
temperature
Use synonyms
 during summer and the lowest during winter. New
York
Use synonyms
's
temperature
Use synonyms
influenced
Add a missing verb
is influenced
show examples
 by the annual
hours
Use synonyms
 of
sunshine
Use synonyms
 which is the highest among the other.
Submitted by shirokuade on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "it is clear that".
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, sunshine, york, temperature with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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