The chart below shows the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagram shows the
rate
of electrical
appliances
Change the noun form
appliance
show examples
ownership and the duration of time taken to do household chores in a country between the period of 1920 to 2019. For an overview, it can be seen that the electrical
appliance
usage and
adoption
rate
over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time has shown an upward trend from the
rate
of 0-40% in the early years to an
overall
higher than 70%
adoption
rate
in 2019.
On the other hand
, the opposite trend is reflected
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the average duration needed to do the chores, which is diminished from 50 hours a week in the 1920s to a mere 10 hours.
While
all of the electrical
appliances
Change noun form
appliances'
appliance's
show examples
adoption
rate
Change to a plural noun
rates
show examples
shows a rise over time, the
rate
of the increments for each
appliance
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
different.
Although
the refrigerator
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
the least-owned
appliance
in the 1920s with almost 0
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
this
appliance
type experienced the most prominent surge to a whopping 90
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
in the 1960s. In comparison, the washing machine and vacuum cleaner exhibit a less drastic rise in the
adoption
rate
from the earlier year to the present with the vacuum cleaner rising steadily from 30% to 100%
while
the washing machine experiences slight fluctuations and
showing
Wrong verb form
shows
show examples
the least growth from 40% to 75%.
Submitted by febrinhidayat on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words rate, appliance, adoption with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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