IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people believe that bicycle is a healthy and environmentally friendly mode of transport. However it is no longer the main form of transport. What are the reasons? What could be done to encourage the use of bicycles among the wider population? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Bicycle
Use synonyms
 has been seen as an economical and clean transportation since it came out. On the surface, it’s a lifestyle change, but on the deep level, it reflects and demonstrates many deep factors in society. To promote wider application among the nation, there are some reasons about it and adjustments in the forthcoming paragraph. The primary reason
of
Change preposition
apply
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why
bicycles
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 are no longer the main form of
transport
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 is because cars and buses have become the main choices for
people
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’s daily travel.
People
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 need time to change their
transport
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habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
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, which are built
by
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over
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 many years.
For example
Linking Words
, in Guangzhou China, many
people
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 have their
owned
Replace the word
own
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 cars,
therefore
Linking Words
people
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 gradually
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest
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to ride
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in riding
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bicycles
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.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, with the promotion of ‘shared
bicycles
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’,
people
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 find it is a good alternative supplement
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
transport
Use synonyms
 rather than
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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 and others, which can reduce the time and money they spend
on
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apply
show examples
. In order to encourage
people
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 to use
bicycles
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 more
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
often, it is suggested that local government should take over the responsibility. Individuals are more willing to try on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bicycles
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 as one of their major
transport
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 if the government is able to provide them
enough
Add the preposition
with enough
show examples
protections
Fix the agreement mistake
protection
show examples
 and
supports
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support
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, Shenzhen a city in China has published a series of principles to support
people
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 using
bicycles
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.
Such
Linking Words
 as marking the special path only for
bicycle
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 passing and the field for
bicycle
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 parking. Those steps strongly enhance the environment for
Use synonyms
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
 and lead more and more
people
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accede
Add the particle
to accede
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in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the riding group.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the promotion of the
bicycle
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is required
Change the verb form
has required
show examples
 the attention of citizens and
rule makers
Add a hyphen
rule-makers
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
 way,
bicycles
Use synonyms
 can become a vital form of
transport
Use synonyms
 selection.

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task response
Be sure to fully address all aspects of the prompt, including both the reasons why bicycles are no longer the main form of transport and suggestions for increasing bicycle usage. The essay could benefit from a stronger focus on these specific points.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a clear overall structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, some of the ideas could be more logically connected, which would improve overall coherence and cohesion.
lexical resource
The essay shows a good range of vocabulary and uses some relevant examples to support the points. To improve, try to incorporate more precise and specific vocabulary related to the topic.
grammatical range
Overall, the essay has a solid command of grammar. However, there are a few instances of sentence structure errors and awkward phrasing. Be sure to review sentence structure and syntax for more accuracy and clarity.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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