IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays in many countries women have full time jobs. Therefore, it is logical to share household tasks evenly between men and women. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#countries #women #time #jobs #household #tasks #men
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In
this
 day and age,
women
 tend to become full-time employees which makes it logical for
men
 and
women
 to share
chores
. I personally stand for
this
 notion, and
This
 essay will first talk about the view that
women
 should take care of the
household
tasks
 and explain my strong point why
chores
 should be done together by both genders. The stigma about
chores
 that should be done by
women
 has spread for years.
Women
 have the ability to take care of the
household
tasks
while
 their husbands go to
work
 properly. It is well-known in Indonesia that the
men
Fix the agreement mistake
man
show examples
 as the head of
family
Add an article
the family
show examples
 should not take part in the
chores
.
This
 patriarchy is passed on from generation to generation
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 parents tend to train their daughters to do
house
Correct your spelling
housework
show examples
work
 even since they are in secondary school.
However
, doing
chores
 is a basic skill that everyone should master, not only
women
 but
also
men
. When
men
 choose to marry their
women
, it means that they are ready to carry out the
household
 together. In
this
 era,
women
 have the right to be working wives or working moms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 can
work
 full-time
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 which will
be
Verb problem
make it
show examples
 very difficult for them to handle
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
office
work
 and
household
work
 together.
For instance
, in a
household
, the wife can do the cooking
while
 the husband
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 to do the dishes. It will be better if all the
chores
 can
be do
Change the verb form
be done
show examples
 together to avoid patriarchy in the
household
 that sometimes can create domestic violence.
To conclude
, the patriarchy should be removed in a marriage life and the married couples should start to do the
tasks
 together in a
household
 since both wives and husbands have the right to do the full-time job which will be difficult for the wives to handle the
tasks
 alone.
Submitted by Glo on

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task response
Make sure to fully address the prompt and clearly state your position in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas in a clear and logical manner, using appropriate paragraphing.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use a wider range of words and phrases to express your ideas.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to ensure accuracy and clarity in your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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