IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays in many countries women have full time jobs. Therefore, it is logical to share household tasks evenly between men and women. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#countries #women #time #jobs #household #tasks #men
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In
this
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 day and age,
women
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 tend to become full-time employees which makes it logical for
men
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 and
women
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 to share
chores
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. I personally stand for
this
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 notion, and
This
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 essay will first talk about the view that
women
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 should take care of the
household
Use synonyms
tasks
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 and explain my strong point why
chores
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 should be done together by both genders. The stigma about
chores
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 that should be done by
women
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 has spread for years.
Women
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 have the ability to take care of the
household
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tasks
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while
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 their husbands go to
work
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 properly. It is well-known in Indonesia that the
Use synonyms
men
Fix the agreement mistake
man
show examples
 as the head of
family
Add an article
the family
show examples
 should not take part in the
chores
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.
This
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 patriarchy is passed on from generation to generation
that
Correct word choice
and
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 parents tend to train their daughters to do
house
Correct your spelling
housework
show examples
work
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 even since they are in secondary school.
However
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, doing
chores
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 is a basic skill that everyone should master, not only
women
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 but
also
Linking Words
men
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. When
men
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 choose to marry their
women
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, it means that they are ready to carry out the
household
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 together. In
this
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 era,
women
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 have the right to be working wives or working moms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 can
work
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 full-time
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 which will
be
Verb problem
make it
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 very difficult for them to handle
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
office
work
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 and
household
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work
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 together.
For instance
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, in a
household
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, the wife can do the cooking
while
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 the husband
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 to do the dishes. It will be better if all the
chores
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 can
be do
Change the verb form
be done
show examples
 together to avoid patriarchy in the
household
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 that sometimes can create domestic violence.
To conclude
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, the patriarchy should be removed in a marriage life and the married couples should start to do the
tasks
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 together in a
household
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 since both wives and husbands have the right to do the full-time job which will be difficult for the wives to handle the
tasks
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 alone.
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task response
Make sure to fully address the prompt and clearly state your position in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas in a clear and logical manner, using appropriate paragraphing.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use a wider range of words and phrases to express your ideas.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to ensure accuracy and clarity in your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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