IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

the pie chartbelow shows the main reason why agriculture land become less productive. the taable shows how these causes effected three regions of the eorld during the 1990s.

#chartbelow #reason #agriculture #land #taable #three #regions #eorld
The
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
pie chart illustrates the percentage of causes of worldwide
land
degradation
 leading
land
Fix the infinitive
to land
show examples
 agricultural unproductive, and the table gives information about the causes of
land
degradation
 by region divided into four categories in
1990s
Change the article
the 1990s
show examples
.
Overall
,
over-gazing
Correct your spelling
over-grazing
show examples
 takes the biggest amount of causing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
worldwide
land
degradation
while
 other takes the smallest.
Additionally
, Europe
leaded
Correct your spelling
led
show examples
 the widest
land
degradation
compered
Correct your spelling
compared
show examples
 to North America and Oceania.
initially
, the widest
land
degradation
 is caused by over-grazing at 35%, followed
deforestation
Change preposition
by deforestation
show examples
 at 30%.
However
,
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 occupies the smallest
land
degradation
 at 7%
while
 over-cultivation has
four
Correct article usage
a four
show examples
 times higher ratio than the former at 28%.
next,
Europe
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
occupied the biggest
land
degradation
 at 23%
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 deforestation took the majority at 9.8%. eventually, North America as the smallest ratio of
land
degradation
used
Verb problem
apply
show examples
at 5%, but over grazing rate took the second stage
compered
Correct your spelling
compared
show examples
 two countries.
Moreover
, the tiny
land
degradation
 was in Oceania at 0%.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that all relevant points from the task are addressed and provide a more thorough analysis of the data.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the organization of the essay by using clear paragraphs and linking words to enhance coherence.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and varied language to express ideas.
grammatical range
Pay attention to grammar to ensure accurate sentence structures and verb usage.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: