44.The table gives information about the employment of university graduates in the U.S. in 2005. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

44.The table gives information about the employment of university graduates in the U.S. in 2005. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The table displays information about the
percentage
of
employment
from recently graduated students in the United States in 2005.
Overall
, in three out of four
cities
, there is a higher proportion of permanent
employment
,
while
Chicago had more temporary
employment
. The other significant feature of the table is that overseas employees had the lowest
percentage
in all
cities
. New York had a total of 66% of just graduated employers, where 55% were permanent, which is the highest
percentage
compared with the other
cities
,
while
8.7% were temporary. Chicago and New York had the lowest
percentage
of overseas
employment
, both with 2.3%.
Furthermore
, Chicago had the highest temporary
employment
rate, which was 36.3%, but only 24.2% of individuals had permanent
employment
.
San
Francisco
and
Los
Angeles
had the same total amount of
employment
, which was 53%, but it was differently spread. In
San
Francisco
34.4% of people were permanent employers,
Los
Angeles
had around 11% more permanent employers than
San
Francisco
, with 45.8%,
while
temporary
employment
was very different between both
cities
,
San
Francisco
had 16.1%
while
Los
Angeles
had only 2.2%.
Finally
,
Los
Angeles
had two times more overseas
employment
than
San
Francisco
, which were 5% and 2.5% respectively.
Submitted by elenazheng1211 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, employment, cities, san, francisco, los, angeles with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.

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