44.The table gives information about the employment of university graduates in the U.S. in 2005. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The table displays information about the
percentage
of employment
from recently graduated students in the United States in 2005.
Overall
, in three out of four cities
, there is a higher proportion of permanent employment
, while
Chicago had more temporary employment
. The other significant feature of the table is that overseas employees had the lowest percentage
in all cities
.
New York had a total of 66% of just graduated employers, where 55% were permanent, which is the highest percentage
compared with the other cities
, while
8.7% were temporary. Chicago and New York had the lowest percentage
of overseas employment
, both with 2.3%. Furthermore
, Chicago had the highest temporary employment
rate, which was 36.3%, but only 24.2% of individuals had permanent employment
.
San
Francisco
and Los
Angeles
had the same total amount of employment
, which was 53%, but it was differently spread. In San
Francisco
34.4% of people were permanent employers, Los
Angeles
had around 11% more permanent employers than San
Francisco
, with 45.8%, while
temporary employment
was very different between both cities
, San
Francisco
had 16.1% while
Los
Angeles
had only 2.2%. Finally
, Los
Angeles
had two times more overseas employment
than San
Francisco
, which were 5% and 2.5% respectively.Submitted by elenazheng1211 on
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, employment, cities, san, francisco, los, angeles with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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